I was just sharing with my SD that men and women have such different points of view and, sometimes, we don't seem to understand each other very well no matter how hard we try. Having said that, I am perfectly fine that P and I may, from time to time, agree to disagree. I also accept that some of his actions may be baffling to me, and vice versa, but I am happy to live with the mystery.
Because I know who P is, and I know he would never knowingly hurt me, that he loves me with a generous, caring and compassionate love, these little things, although irksome, deeply vexing on occasion, are par for the course. Let the frustrations go, it is not worth holding on to any one for the good things are really, really good, and we should, instead, hold on to those things.
Men and women are hardwired differently and we each have our own strengths and weaknesses that can be quite gender specific. Plus, there are times when what matters a lot to me does not seem to matter to him, and what he deems as important may not have the same priority with me. As my SD said, there is no answer to the question why, and we each simply have to trust - trust that we each have each other's back, and trust that we each desire the good of the other in a selfless way.
Here is where the complementarity of the sexes comes into play if we allow humility to fertilize the marriage. We each bring different things to the table, and we can help each other parlay our weaknesses and limitations into strengths. When we are open to new things and new ways, we may discover richer ways of doing things together. We can help each other moderate our excesses, and we can smoothen out the rough edges of each other's personalities.
All this can happen only if we are sensitive*, loving, caring, trusting, forgiving, and when we don't stop attempting to give the best of ourselves to each other. To quote the words of Pope Francis, we should daily build bridges of understanding, not walls. And when there is no understanding, the bridge is simply made strong by the mystery of a committed, empathetic and persevering love.
While I know I am still in the honeymoon stage of my marriage, I don't believe it has to end. My prayer is that I will never lose my sense of delight and wonder when I gaze at P for I want to look at him with the same brand of tenderness 20, 30 years down the road. Perhaps I am a romantic but I do believe it is possible as long as if I gaze at him with the magic eye as Brother Dominic calls looking through the eyes of Jesus.
I am not suggesting that all this takes place without sacrifice and pain, challenging times, or sustained effort. As I told P over last weekend, marriage is my cross, but I said it with joy for it is a cross I bear with reverence and pride, knowing it is a priceless gift from my Heavenly Father. Marriage is my path to holiness and P will lead me to heaven. Likewise, I hope to do the same for him. In the meantime, we must be content with experiencing heaven on earth. As of now, I could not ask for anything more.
* My SD says we need to hunt for the treasures of knowing what the other needs and wants and fulfil those needs and wants.
Because I know who P is, and I know he would never knowingly hurt me, that he loves me with a generous, caring and compassionate love, these little things, although irksome, deeply vexing on occasion, are par for the course. Let the frustrations go, it is not worth holding on to any one for the good things are really, really good, and we should, instead, hold on to those things.
Men and women are hardwired differently and we each have our own strengths and weaknesses that can be quite gender specific. Plus, there are times when what matters a lot to me does not seem to matter to him, and what he deems as important may not have the same priority with me. As my SD said, there is no answer to the question why, and we each simply have to trust - trust that we each have each other's back, and trust that we each desire the good of the other in a selfless way.
Here is where the complementarity of the sexes comes into play if we allow humility to fertilize the marriage. We each bring different things to the table, and we can help each other parlay our weaknesses and limitations into strengths. When we are open to new things and new ways, we may discover richer ways of doing things together. We can help each other moderate our excesses, and we can smoothen out the rough edges of each other's personalities.
All this can happen only if we are sensitive*, loving, caring, trusting, forgiving, and when we don't stop attempting to give the best of ourselves to each other. To quote the words of Pope Francis, we should daily build bridges of understanding, not walls. And when there is no understanding, the bridge is simply made strong by the mystery of a committed, empathetic and persevering love.
While I know I am still in the honeymoon stage of my marriage, I don't believe it has to end. My prayer is that I will never lose my sense of delight and wonder when I gaze at P for I want to look at him with the same brand of tenderness 20, 30 years down the road. Perhaps I am a romantic but I do believe it is possible as long as if I gaze at him with the magic eye as Brother Dominic calls looking through the eyes of Jesus.
I am not suggesting that all this takes place without sacrifice and pain, challenging times, or sustained effort. As I told P over last weekend, marriage is my cross, but I said it with joy for it is a cross I bear with reverence and pride, knowing it is a priceless gift from my Heavenly Father. Marriage is my path to holiness and P will lead me to heaven. Likewise, I hope to do the same for him. In the meantime, we must be content with experiencing heaven on earth. As of now, I could not ask for anything more.
* My SD says we need to hunt for the treasures of knowing what the other needs and wants and fulfil those needs and wants.
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