A. was sharing that someone asked her if it was OK to show a not-so-sunny disposition to those we met. After all, isn’t that being honest, truthful, to show off one’s true colours?
She of course replied in the negative but was scratching her head on how to substantiate her response.
While we are called to be child-like in how we entrust our lives to God, it is not an out for childish or immature behaviour.
To walk around like an emotional weather-vane, broadcasting feelings to all and sundry shows a lack of consideration for others and considerable self-absorption.
Neither is it right to take out one’s frustrations on those who are nearest and dearest to us. No shaking the crying baby or kicking the dog just because you had a bad day.
So when A. read about Mother Teresa’s inner suffering throughout her life and how MT did not let on to the world how she felt such a great sense of loss inside of her, but instead put on a face of loving and caring to all she met, she found the answer to the question asked of her.
To be able to live out one’s vocation, loving others as Jesus loves us despite our own shortcomings and personal suffering, that is to die to self. MT brings new and very rich meaning to that phrase.
Despite her personal suffering, she continued to be the little pencil in God’s hand, doing small things (that grew into huge things) with great love.
And she continued to be a woman of faith who prayed constantly – finding time to be with God even though He seemed to have abandoned her.
What St Josemaria Escriva said of Mother Mary’s fiat is true of MT's as well:
“She lived it sincerely, unstintingly, fulfilling its every consequence, but never amid fanfare, rather in the hidden and silent sacrifice of each day."
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