Wisdom of heart

Last weekend was a celebration of life with a wedding banquet and a birthday lunch. Where relatives from overseas converged to break bread in a major way. There was laughter and food, conversation and food, and food and more food. I love spending time with my Mum and her cousins, for it allows me a glimpse into her childhood, what she was like as a carefree, young girl; the stories, the gossip, the bonds that run deep despite the rare meetings due to geographical constraints. I just sit, eat and observe. It’s like watching a movie.

Tonight, there is gathering where Mum will have an evening of fun with the gals before they all depart on Wednesday. I think it’s wonderful. Even though we were a little sad today remembering Dad (it’s been three years since he left us), I think he would like that she is out there celebrating life. If that was one thing Dad knew how to do, that was having a good time.

While I mourn his departure still, I have accepted that he is with Jesus now, and I rejoice in that reality.

Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet says:

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

The memories I hold dear include how he called me his one and only, how he would wait up for me until I returned home (said he couldn’t sleep until he knew I was home safely), how he cooked with love and care, and waited for me to come home before we would all eat dinner together. A memory that still brings tears to my eyes took place the evening before he died. He somehow knew he was going, for as I helped put him to bed that night, he thanked me by giving me a thumbs up. That simple gesture expressed all he wanted to say but couldn’t (by that time he could not speak anymore and every move took great effort).

So, today, I pray:

Make us know the shortness of our life
That we may gain wisdom of heart,

In the morning, fill us with your love;
we shall exult and rejoice all our days,
Give us joy to balance our affliction
for the years when we knew misfortune. Psalm 90

And I thank the Lord for the joys and the sorrows, for the celebrations and the losses, for all of life’s experiences.