Attentive attitude

My grandson has taken it upon himself to ensure that Gran knows whatever he knows. Any new thing he learns, he is always eager to transfer his knowledge to me. And he is a very good teacher, giving instructions methodically, and correcting me when I am wrong. It started out with him teaching me how to spar when we played with his Pokemon figurines – he would prompt me when I forgot what characteristics and powers my Pokemon had. Nowadays he teaches me to play new board games, and any new activity he is engaged in.

To encourage him to grow in confidence, I have made myself out to be someone who has limitations and shortcomings due to age. He responds with empathy by teaching me whatever he can to increase my quality of life, and he shows compassion when I fail, by comforting me and encouraging me. I feel privileged to be the recipient of his attentions inasmuch as I have placed myself in this position of need, in order to teach him life skills and virtues.

Every interaction with my grandchildren is an opportunity to teach them, and I begin first by being fully present with them, listening to them, gauging where they are on a daily basis, then responding with what I feel is appropriate. There is no lesson plan. I go with the flow and everything is fair game – vocabulary, ethics, reasoning, social awareness, ecological stewardship, etc.

This brings me back to my relationship with my Father, am I as attentive with Him as I am with J and C? The ability to attune myself to the Father’s heart is something I work on constantly all the time so it’s easy to get complacent, fall away from good practices, or become casual in my ways. This Lent, I find myself reminded constantly to retune my ways, to make my ways His ways. Whether it is the readings at daily mass, or when I read the Bible, I always used to wonder how someone so loved by God and so in love with God can fall away - just like that! But when I read the stories of great kings like David and Solomon, these are the stories of my life. I have been given wisdom, I have been blessed to be able to experience the Lord in very real ways, so many graces and consolations, and yet, do I sin? Of course, all the time. I fall short.

The key is obedience, and I must say I find myself guilty of disobedience quite frequently throughout the day. I cuss at inconsiderate drivers and I am not the most patient and courteous of drivers. I don’t hold the lift for other people when I am rushing. I am not very patient with my helper. I show my irritation with P quite easily. How can I even begin to teach my grandchildren courtesy when I do not respect another’s dignity in all these little ways?  

If I am to be more clued in to those around me, to be more connected, I must ensure my behaviour always elicits positive responses from others. I must attempt to make each encounter with people life-affirming. Thus, I have to listen actively, attune to others not just with my mind but with my heart and spirit. Just as J understands failure can be disheartening and he is quick to offer commiseration and constructive instruction that makes learning pleasurable, I need to be more like him with others. Put on a listening, humble and caring heart. Only then can I truly become more and more like Him.