Discipline for abundance

It has been a flurry of activity since the year began. I am most grateful for the meet ups with friends and family that I no longer see as often as I would like, so I would say the year kicked off extremely well. P and I have begun another year of reading the Bible in a year. I have also begun a discipline of regular fasting, walking and attending weekday mass, to take care of my own spiritual, mental and physical health. I recognize that ageing well is key to maintaining my ability to serving the Lord wholeheartedly without burnout, thus it requires a sustained commitment to self-care.  

The biggest push has been the attempt to get my “house” in order, literally, just because I am not inclined to organization. I am a tad overwhelmed at how much stuff I have accumulated over the years, but I am determined to strip back and simplify my life, and put some needed order into it. Ordering my life has included assessing my financial health and planning for retirement, fun, adult stuff I normally eschew.

The thirst for orderliness comes from a place of dissatisfaction within myself, with myself. Chaos cannot breed peace. I have spent valuable time and expended finite energy hunting for things, fretting about misplaced things and how it all makes me feel highly incompetent.  How can I be a good example to anyone, an authentic witness, when I have no discipline in all areas of my life? Or to put it another way, if I keep growing in virtue, cultivating as many as I can along the way, then perhaps I can be a more credible and empathetic witness of Christ’s love.

As I am entering the mid to late-autumn of my life, the increasing scarcity of years left make it imperative to spend every moment given to me with greater wisdom, to make every second count and live it well. I remember E commenting on how this is the age of generativity, of giving back and of making a palpable difference in this world, not so much as a legacy born of pride, but one that finds its impetus in God. Jesus living out just three years of ministry but touching countless lives over many generations. What incredible abundance!

Let me not wait until serious illness strikes me before I attempt to cram more meaning into life, or to only then take steps to regain good health frittered away by poor dietary and lifestyle choices. My latest blood test results have demanded that I make some changes today. Wisdom decrees it is the only way forward for me; only discipline can give rise to abundance from now on.     

What I would like to hold onto this year is the ideas of impossible joy and transformative light.

Impossible joy

SD shared with me on my last visit with him that Christmas is the season of the impossible made possible. First, we have the conception and birth of John the Baptist to a mother well past her child-bearing years. Then we have the virgin conception and birth of Jesus to Mary. We also have the full acceptance of Joseph who takes on the role of husband to Mary, and foster fatherhood to Jesus, when he was well within his right to walk away from what looked like a less than desirable life choice.

 

Each event or decision is marked by the presence of the Holy Spirit and humanity’s willingness to cooperate fully with Him. If I am able to say yes to situations and circumstances so unreservedly, despite knowing that great challenges may lie ahead, then, together with the Lord, I can help make the impossible possible. Jesus can be birthed into this world which seems marked today by increasing, pervasive darkness.

 

This birthing of light and joy is the panacea the world needs, and I must be an active participant (together with Christ) in conjuring this spirit of Christmas, not just in December, but in all the months of the year. I need to remind myself daily that all things are possible with Him, impossibly possible. And no matter what life throws at me, joy and gratitude must be a conscious decision of mine.

 

Transformative light

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

 

This verse, nine, from Psalm 36, struck a chord with me when I heard it proclaimed at mass on the several days that I had attended weekday mass in January. It underpins what I heard at our first community meeting in 2024 about being Christ-centred. The only way I can experience Jesus in a very real and current way is to encounter Him constantly, not just in the Eucharist or in prayer, but also in the Word of God, the Bible, who is Jesus Christ Himself, and not merely a collection of divine inspired writings.  

 

To cultivate a biblical sensibility, where I unconsciously see the world and act in the world (in His light I see light) in a Christ-centred way, it necessitates gnawing (a word appropriated from Bishop Robert Barron’s series The Sacraments) on the Word of God. I must steep my being in devoted reading and study of the Bible, in order to put on the eyes, mind and heart of Christ, to be His light bearer, and, consequently, to be able to render the ridiculous twists of the Christmas story into a form that elicits joy and wonder. It is a transformation of self that, again, requires discipline, but yet promises an abundance of light, springing forth endlessly from the “fountain of life”.

I sometimes feel like the world’s biggest grouch so it is a worthy challenge to try and live this year with the impossible joy and transformative light of Jesus, to graft myself onto His being so that I can truly decrease and He increase in me. Discipline for abundance, this will be my clarion call this year.