It has been a flurry of activity since the year began. I am most
grateful for the meet ups with friends and family that I no longer see as often
as I would like, so I would say the year kicked off extremely well. P and I
have begun another year of reading the Bible in a year. I have also begun a
discipline of regular fasting, walking and attending weekday mass, to take care
of my own spiritual, mental and physical health. I recognize that ageing well
is key to maintaining my ability to serving the Lord wholeheartedly without
burnout, thus it requires a sustained commitment to self-care.
The biggest push has been the attempt to get my “house” in order,
literally, just because I am not inclined to organization. I am a tad
overwhelmed at how much stuff I have accumulated over the years, but I am
determined to strip back and simplify my life, and put some needed order into
it. Ordering my life has included assessing my financial health and planning
for retirement, fun, adult stuff I normally eschew.
The thirst for orderliness comes from a place of dissatisfaction
within myself, with myself. Chaos cannot breed peace. I have spent valuable
time and expended finite energy hunting for things, fretting about misplaced
things and how it all makes me feel highly incompetent. How can I be a good example to anyone, an
authentic witness, when I have no discipline in all areas of my life? Or to put
it another way, if I keep growing in virtue, cultivating as many as I can along
the way, then perhaps I can be a more credible and empathetic witness of
Christ’s love.
As I am entering the mid to late-autumn of my life, the increasing
scarcity of years left make it imperative to spend every moment given to me
with greater wisdom, to make every second count and live it well. I remember E
commenting on how this is the age of generativity, of giving back and of making
a palpable difference in this world, not so much as a legacy born of pride, but
one that finds its impetus in God. Jesus living out just three years of
ministry but touching countless lives over many generations. What incredible abundance!
Let me not wait until serious illness strikes me before I attempt
to cram more meaning into life, or to only then take steps to regain good
health frittered away by poor dietary and lifestyle choices. My latest blood
test results have demanded that I make some changes today. Wisdom decrees it is
the only way forward for me; only discipline can give rise to abundance from now
on.
What I would like to hold onto this year is the ideas of
impossible joy and transformative light.
Impossible
joy
SD
shared with me on my last visit with him that Christmas is the season of the
impossible made possible. First, we have the conception and birth of John the
Baptist to a mother well past her child-bearing years. Then we have the virgin
conception and birth of Jesus to Mary. We also have the full acceptance of
Joseph who takes on the role of husband to Mary, and foster fatherhood to
Jesus, when he was well within his right to walk away from what looked like a
less than desirable life choice.
Each
event or decision is marked by the presence of the Holy Spirit and humanity’s
willingness to cooperate fully with Him. If I am able to say yes to situations
and circumstances so unreservedly, despite knowing that great challenges may lie
ahead, then, together with the Lord, I can help make the impossible possible.
Jesus can be birthed into this world which seems marked today by increasing, pervasive
darkness.
This
birthing of light and joy is the panacea the world needs, and I must be an
active participant (together with Christ) in conjuring this spirit of Christmas,
not just in December, but in all the months of the year. I need to remind
myself daily that all things are possible with Him, impossibly possible. And no
matter what life throws at me, joy and gratitude must be a conscious decision
of mine.
Transformative
light
For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.
This verse, nine, from Psalm 36, struck a chord with me when I
heard it proclaimed at mass on the several days that I had attended weekday
mass in January. It underpins what I heard at our first community meeting in
2024 about being Christ-centred. The only way I can experience Jesus in a very
real and current way is to encounter Him constantly, not just in the Eucharist
or in prayer, but also in the Word of God, the Bible, who is Jesus Christ
Himself, and not merely a collection of divine inspired writings.
To cultivate a biblical sensibility, where I unconsciously see the
world and act in the world (in His light I see light) in a Christ-centred way, it
necessitates gnawing (a word appropriated from Bishop Robert Barron’s series The
Sacraments) on the Word of God. I must steep my being in devoted reading and
study of the Bible, in order to put
on the eyes, mind and heart of Christ, to be His light bearer, and,
consequently, to be able to render the ridiculous twists of the Christmas story
into a form that elicits joy and wonder. It is a transformation of self that, again,
requires discipline, but yet promises an abundance of light, springing forth endlessly
from the “fountain of life”.
I
sometimes feel like the world’s biggest grouch so it is a worthy challenge to
try and live this year with the impossible joy and transformative light of
Jesus, to graft myself onto His being so that I can truly decrease and He
increase in me. Discipline for abundance, this will be my clarion call this year.
