The number 12 is a very special number biblically. It is considered a perfect number, symbolizing God's power and authority, serving as perfect governmental foundation as can be seen by the 12 tribes of Israel, the 12 apostles. Twelve symbolizes completion.
The reason why P and I got married on the 12th is for a simpler reason, 12 December is a Marian feast day - it is the feast day of our Lady of Guadalupe. Given the circumstances under how we met, and how the courtship was supported throughout by our Mother's loving intercession, it seemed a foregone conclusion. That P happened to be on leave, my elder brother home for a break, and B, P's elder sister, having returned from attending a wedding in Melbourne, all dovetailed nicely, making the 12th a natural best choice.
On the eve of my wedding, B offered yet another revelation on why 12 was such a powerful number. She shared the story of how as Joshua led the people of Israel into the Promised Land by way of the River Jordan, they laid 12 stones on the side of the river bank as a memorial to God. So even as they left their old way of life behind and entered the new land, they were charged to remember all that God had done for them.
E asked me what were the 12 stones that I lay down as a memorial, a tribute to God, just as the Israelites did. Now that I have some time to reflect, my 12 stones which span, in particular, the last 13 years of my life, and will form the bedrock of my marriage with P, in no particular order, are:
Stone 1 is faith. The faith given to me by my father and my mother in baptism and how they each sought to live out that faith in their lives, first as children and siblings, then as spouses and parents. Faith gave my father integrity, courage, generosity and fortitude, while faith gave my mother openness, patience, gentleness and obedience. I can do no better than bring all these qualities of faith into my marriage with P.
Stone 2 is dying to self. In choosing to love God, and to love others just as Jesus did, I have had to die to self in so many ways over this last decade in a deeper and more profound way, once I gave my fiat. Self-preservation is a natural instinct, so I have had to fight my own selfish disposition all this time. Hence the need to ask the Lord, daily, to show me how to love, and to do a consciousness examen, so as to build self-awareness. Meeting Jesus in the moments of life help me make the choice to die to self much more easily - again a requisite for a good marriage.
Stone 3 is the ability to let go. Being sentimental and stubborn make it very difficult for me to let go of thoughts, ideas, loves, possessions and people. I have, however, learned to do this in substantial and radical ways, and I am again called to do so as I enter my new state of life. It can be painful and I now completely get why Scripture asks for me to leave my mother and father behind and cleave to my husband. Michel Sardou's song Je Vole has been echoing in my head these last months as I finally fly the coop. Flying requires leaving, and leaving requires letting go. To be with P means to let go of my past.
Stone 4 is engagement. To be like Christ means to be fully engaged in the world, with every person I meet. It's not about sitting on the sidelines, refusing to dirty my hands or risk my heart. It's about hearing the silent cries for help, and answering them; going the distance in serving others even when one is disinclined to get involved. It's all about loving others, even as I experience the love of God in my life, paying it forward. Marriage now calls for me to be engaged in P's life, and in our life together as a couple.
Stone 5 is discerning the will of God. I decided some 13 yeas ago that the only way to live meaningfully and purposefully was to do whatever He tells me. I needed to learn how to listen to Jesus, not just by learning the law but by inscribing it onto my heart. Aligning my will to God's will gives me the ability to know how I should be living my life every day. The need for careful discernment has been extra rigorous these last months of courtship for the vocation of marriage is not to be taken lightly. Moving forward, I will need to be just as discerning in marriage.
Stone 6 is prayer. Nothing works without the element of prayer. Nothing. Prayer alone is what can make a infinitesimal but significant difference. Prayer not only effects miracles, but it gives new heart, and a whole new attitude. Doing the 33 day self-retreat of Marian consecration with P just before marriage has reaped such amazing graces that I can only repeat most emphatically, prayer works. Something I should never, ever, forget.
Stone 7 is hope. When my world implodes on itself, and I am devastated with grief or loss, hope is, as Emily Dickinson puts it, the thing with feathers that sings a tune in the fiercest storm. Hope keeps dreams alive, and hope has seen me through the worst travails of life. I know I can always hope in the Lord, for He has never failed to make a path for me to walk on when I hit a dead end. I have seen His hand working in my life and I know He will continue do the same in my future.
Stone 8 is trust. Hope and trust are close cousins for when one has trust, one displays a hopeful heart. Trust also means using one's judgement, sharpened through prayer, to make the right decision, especially in confusing and challenging times. I have found that trusting the Lord calls for practice, and that trust becomes easier as one's faith level grows. I liken my ability to trust to Peter's, very uneven. That is why Mother Mary is my model for she trusts even when she does not understand fully. I still have much to learn from her.
Stone 9 is mercy. It's very easy to bear grudges and hold onto to anger. But this is how I choose unhappiness. I have found it judicious to forgive, for anger and bitterness both curdle my insides, which is not good for my health, spiritually or otherwise. Forgiving is a good place to be and allows me to be merciful, first to myself, then to others.
Stone 10 is living out fully my baptismal office of priest, prophet and king. To reject evil and indifference, and to worship, witness and serve. I am called to evangelize through my life - my thoughts, my words, my deeds and my actions - and to make known the joys and wonders of following my Lord and Saviour, who died so that I am have eternal life.
Stone 11 is gratitude. Being grateful allows me to see the goodness of God in every circumstance, as well as to appreciate the beauty of life as I go about my day. Gratitude is the salt that enhances daily living, and brings joy, light and laughter. Gratitude helps me to be a better person, and a more cheerful one as well.
Stone 12 is love, the be all and end all of my existence. All the good things that love is in 1 Corinthians 13 is what I have desired all these years: patience, kindness, humility, generosity, selflessness and graciousness... I look to growing in love as P and I honour our matrimonial vows in the days and years to come. As Father Arro encouraged us during our nuptial mass, we need to love extravagantly, and with great exuberance. Just as the best wine was served at Cana, our marriage can be that miracle of water turned into wine if we both do whatever Jesus says, so that all may enjoy.
The power of 12 is perfection, completion. All P and I have to do is to keep tapping into the 12, and we will be more than fine.
The reason why P and I got married on the 12th is for a simpler reason, 12 December is a Marian feast day - it is the feast day of our Lady of Guadalupe. Given the circumstances under how we met, and how the courtship was supported throughout by our Mother's loving intercession, it seemed a foregone conclusion. That P happened to be on leave, my elder brother home for a break, and B, P's elder sister, having returned from attending a wedding in Melbourne, all dovetailed nicely, making the 12th a natural best choice.
On the eve of my wedding, B offered yet another revelation on why 12 was such a powerful number. She shared the story of how as Joshua led the people of Israel into the Promised Land by way of the River Jordan, they laid 12 stones on the side of the river bank as a memorial to God. So even as they left their old way of life behind and entered the new land, they were charged to remember all that God had done for them.
E asked me what were the 12 stones that I lay down as a memorial, a tribute to God, just as the Israelites did. Now that I have some time to reflect, my 12 stones which span, in particular, the last 13 years of my life, and will form the bedrock of my marriage with P, in no particular order, are:
Stone 1 is faith. The faith given to me by my father and my mother in baptism and how they each sought to live out that faith in their lives, first as children and siblings, then as spouses and parents. Faith gave my father integrity, courage, generosity and fortitude, while faith gave my mother openness, patience, gentleness and obedience. I can do no better than bring all these qualities of faith into my marriage with P.
Stone 2 is dying to self. In choosing to love God, and to love others just as Jesus did, I have had to die to self in so many ways over this last decade in a deeper and more profound way, once I gave my fiat. Self-preservation is a natural instinct, so I have had to fight my own selfish disposition all this time. Hence the need to ask the Lord, daily, to show me how to love, and to do a consciousness examen, so as to build self-awareness. Meeting Jesus in the moments of life help me make the choice to die to self much more easily - again a requisite for a good marriage.
Stone 3 is the ability to let go. Being sentimental and stubborn make it very difficult for me to let go of thoughts, ideas, loves, possessions and people. I have, however, learned to do this in substantial and radical ways, and I am again called to do so as I enter my new state of life. It can be painful and I now completely get why Scripture asks for me to leave my mother and father behind and cleave to my husband. Michel Sardou's song Je Vole has been echoing in my head these last months as I finally fly the coop. Flying requires leaving, and leaving requires letting go. To be with P means to let go of my past.
Stone 4 is engagement. To be like Christ means to be fully engaged in the world, with every person I meet. It's not about sitting on the sidelines, refusing to dirty my hands or risk my heart. It's about hearing the silent cries for help, and answering them; going the distance in serving others even when one is disinclined to get involved. It's all about loving others, even as I experience the love of God in my life, paying it forward. Marriage now calls for me to be engaged in P's life, and in our life together as a couple.
Stone 5 is discerning the will of God. I decided some 13 yeas ago that the only way to live meaningfully and purposefully was to do whatever He tells me. I needed to learn how to listen to Jesus, not just by learning the law but by inscribing it onto my heart. Aligning my will to God's will gives me the ability to know how I should be living my life every day. The need for careful discernment has been extra rigorous these last months of courtship for the vocation of marriage is not to be taken lightly. Moving forward, I will need to be just as discerning in marriage.
Stone 6 is prayer. Nothing works without the element of prayer. Nothing. Prayer alone is what can make a infinitesimal but significant difference. Prayer not only effects miracles, but it gives new heart, and a whole new attitude. Doing the 33 day self-retreat of Marian consecration with P just before marriage has reaped such amazing graces that I can only repeat most emphatically, prayer works. Something I should never, ever, forget.
Stone 7 is hope. When my world implodes on itself, and I am devastated with grief or loss, hope is, as Emily Dickinson puts it, the thing with feathers that sings a tune in the fiercest storm. Hope keeps dreams alive, and hope has seen me through the worst travails of life. I know I can always hope in the Lord, for He has never failed to make a path for me to walk on when I hit a dead end. I have seen His hand working in my life and I know He will continue do the same in my future.
Stone 8 is trust. Hope and trust are close cousins for when one has trust, one displays a hopeful heart. Trust also means using one's judgement, sharpened through prayer, to make the right decision, especially in confusing and challenging times. I have found that trusting the Lord calls for practice, and that trust becomes easier as one's faith level grows. I liken my ability to trust to Peter's, very uneven. That is why Mother Mary is my model for she trusts even when she does not understand fully. I still have much to learn from her.
Stone 9 is mercy. It's very easy to bear grudges and hold onto to anger. But this is how I choose unhappiness. I have found it judicious to forgive, for anger and bitterness both curdle my insides, which is not good for my health, spiritually or otherwise. Forgiving is a good place to be and allows me to be merciful, first to myself, then to others.
Stone 10 is living out fully my baptismal office of priest, prophet and king. To reject evil and indifference, and to worship, witness and serve. I am called to evangelize through my life - my thoughts, my words, my deeds and my actions - and to make known the joys and wonders of following my Lord and Saviour, who died so that I am have eternal life.
Stone 11 is gratitude. Being grateful allows me to see the goodness of God in every circumstance, as well as to appreciate the beauty of life as I go about my day. Gratitude is the salt that enhances daily living, and brings joy, light and laughter. Gratitude helps me to be a better person, and a more cheerful one as well.
Stone 12 is love, the be all and end all of my existence. All the good things that love is in 1 Corinthians 13 is what I have desired all these years: patience, kindness, humility, generosity, selflessness and graciousness... I look to growing in love as P and I honour our matrimonial vows in the days and years to come. As Father Arro encouraged us during our nuptial mass, we need to love extravagantly, and with great exuberance. Just as the best wine was served at Cana, our marriage can be that miracle of water turned into wine if we both do whatever Jesus says, so that all may enjoy.
The power of 12 is perfection, completion. All P and I have to do is to keep tapping into the 12, and we will be more than fine.
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