Living in Singapore, I have grown used to the fast pace of
city life and the impersonal utilitarianism that pervades this nation of five
and a half million people. Every person is a stranger, so do not make eye
contact, in case he or she wants something from you and you know full well you
have no time to stop and assist, rushing as you are for your next urgent
appointment. Better yet, use your phone or tablet as a shield. Plug in your
earphones and plug out the world. That way, no one can approach you for you are
now invisible in your alternative universe, and everyone else is equally
invisible to you. You do not see as your eyes are glued to the screen in front
of you.
It was therefore a little disconcerting to note that
everywhere I went in Melaka, people noticed me. Walk into a room and all eyes
would automatically train on you before glancing off. I initially wondered why
people were so inquisitive and even felt their gazes obtrusive. Then I realized
it is a small town thing, where everybody pretty much knew everybody else or
felt that they did. No one, not even a tourist, is a stranger. I was just used
to people ignoring me and seeing through and past me, even those who served me.
How sad is that!
What amazed me further was everyone was open to giving
assistance without prompting. People were genuinely nice with no thought of
return. People here were givers, not users. Even if they were offering a
service, they looked at me as a person, not a sale or a number. They were pleasant
and they smiled readily. Why can’t Singaporeans be like this? Why can’t we be
kaypoh* friendly instead or just kaypoh kiasi kiasu**?
I also noticed that everywhere I went in Melaka, no one was
gazing at their phones as they walked or sat in their chairs in coffee shops. Instead
they were plugged into life through their eyes and their actions. They were
keenly aware of what was going on in their surroundings and actively participated when necessary. They were unafraid to get involved in my life even
if it was an inconvenience to them or had no real advantage for them.
Part of this comes from the markedly slower pace of life
where people can actually shoot the breeze and enjoy what they are doing. The
other reason, I suspect, is people here do not feel compelled to be entertained
every waking moment just because technology makes it all possible. They can sit
in solitude, watching the world go by, comfortable in their own skins.
This is just my own observation but I think smart phones and
tablets have turned us into not very smart, anti-social, walking zombies. We
have replaced old-fashioned conversations, the sharing of lives and quiet
moments for our souls to breathe with techno gadgetry, social media and its
exhibitionistic, voyeuristic, sterile escapism. This goes counter to the social dimension of our inherent
personalities as human beings. Only by interacting with others do we become socially
adept and humanistic. Only by giving to others do we actually find ourselves
and therefore any form of real, lasting happiness. As Pope Paul VI incisively
wrote in Gaudium et Spes, point 24:
For this reason, love for God and neighbor is the first and greatest commandment. Sacred Scripture, however, teaches us that the love of God cannot be separated from love of neighbor: "If there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.... Love therefore is the fulfillment of the Law" (Rom. 13:9-10; cf. 1 John 4:20)…
Indeed, the Lord Jesus, when He prayed to the Father, "that all may be one. . . as we are one" (John 17:21-22) opened up vistas closed to human reason, for He implied a certain likeness between the union of the divine Persons, and the unity of God's sons in truth and charity. This likeness reveals that man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.(2)
If we give in to the lure of technology, isolating ourselves in virtual worlds, we are probably stunting our own growth (in imperceptible but undeniable ways) and transforming ourselves into narcissistic, amoral and immature beings with no social graces. We become unwilling to engage in the real world in meaningful ways. We find reality too alarming, confusing, messy and troublesome, completely forgetting that people, relationships and life are alarming, confusing, messy and troublesome, but also glorious, sublime and definitely worth the effort. We even believe suffering is for others, certainly not us, and we run away from any unpleasantness in our lives instead of facing it head on.
I resolve to be more moderate in my habits and use technology judiciously: stop wexting, stop looking at my phone while having a meal and be more aware of my surroundings like the people I encountered in Melaka. I also intend to create more space to just sit and contemplate Jesus. With Lent just round the corner, fasting can be a life-giving thing as my trip to Melaka has shown me.
* nosy
** afraid to lose out to someone and afraid to get involved for fear of being implicated badly
For this reason, love for God and neighbor is the first and greatest commandment. Sacred Scripture, however, teaches us that the love of God cannot be separated from love of neighbor: "If there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.... Love therefore is the fulfillment of the Law" (Rom. 13:9-10; cf. 1 John 4:20)…
Indeed, the Lord Jesus, when He prayed to the Father, "that all may be one. . . as we are one" (John 17:21-22) opened up vistas closed to human reason, for He implied a certain likeness between the union of the divine Persons, and the unity of God's sons in truth and charity. This likeness reveals that man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.(2)
If we give in to the lure of technology, isolating ourselves in virtual worlds, we are probably stunting our own growth (in imperceptible but undeniable ways) and transforming ourselves into narcissistic, amoral and immature beings with no social graces. We become unwilling to engage in the real world in meaningful ways. We find reality too alarming, confusing, messy and troublesome, completely forgetting that people, relationships and life are alarming, confusing, messy and troublesome, but also glorious, sublime and definitely worth the effort. We even believe suffering is for others, certainly not us, and we run away from any unpleasantness in our lives instead of facing it head on.
I resolve to be more moderate in my habits and use technology judiciously: stop wexting, stop looking at my phone while having a meal and be more aware of my surroundings like the people I encountered in Melaka. I also intend to create more space to just sit and contemplate Jesus. With Lent just round the corner, fasting can be a life-giving thing as my trip to Melaka has shown me.
* nosy
** afraid to lose out to someone and afraid to get involved for fear of being implicated badly
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