Uncle H just passed away early this week and I am greatly saddened. He was such a warm, gentle and generous man, always so hospitable when we visited Malacca.
I am glad that the last time I saw him, just about a year ago, I affirmed him that he would not be forgotten for he was loved. His sorrow was that he did not have children to carry out the rites that the living do for the dead to ease their sojourn in the afterlife. So when I assured him that I would remember him and pray for him, he was moved.
His death not only reminds me that life is transitory, it highlights as well the necessity of saying the things you want to say, instead of keeping it in your heart. When it comes to feelings, one should state even the obvious, rather than taking it for granted that the other person knows you love them.
F flew home on a surprise visit last weekend to join in the birthday celebration of her daughter-in-law. She believes that one must put effort into demonstrating love, and sometimes, a gesture that entails considerable sacrifice tells the other I love you and you are important to me. I could not agree with her more.
While I still find it difficult to speak words of affection, especially those three little words, I love you, to people whom I love, I am learning. Being Asian, I tend to be functional in how I show love. I do the housework. I cook. I take care of the bills. I try to be thoughtful, to take care of needs the other has not even realized she or he has. I note what the other likes and try to gift things that bring pleasure.
It is all well and good, but acts of service, giving gifts, a loving touch or spending quality time together are all not enough if the words of love are missing. Words of affirmation and love that have the power to bless someone profoundly are important. And while it is nice to speak and hear such words during special occasions or celebrations, an unexpected kind word on an ordinary day somehow raises the level of the day into a different stratosphere. The bonus in affirming others in this way is how a blessing meant for another actually rebounds as well, an echo effect of sorts.
Given the way I used my tongue to grievous effect last week, and how disappointed I was with myself, this week has taught me that I can get it blissfully right, especially when I disallow my own need to be perfect control me.
When I speak out of a place of pure sincerity and strength, unmarred by my own shadows, the light of God's love shines brightest, penetrating even the most hardened of hearts (especially my own).
Blessed John XXIII said:
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
As we move closer towards Holy Week, I am inspired to fast from hurtful, angry words and continue to fulfil my potential, hopes and dreams of becoming a woman who speaks the living truth, blessing others in both word and action.
Thank you Uncle H for the gift of your life and I will remember you by emulating your gracious and gentle ways as best I can. May eternal light shine upon you.
I am glad that the last time I saw him, just about a year ago, I affirmed him that he would not be forgotten for he was loved. His sorrow was that he did not have children to carry out the rites that the living do for the dead to ease their sojourn in the afterlife. So when I assured him that I would remember him and pray for him, he was moved.
His death not only reminds me that life is transitory, it highlights as well the necessity of saying the things you want to say, instead of keeping it in your heart. When it comes to feelings, one should state even the obvious, rather than taking it for granted that the other person knows you love them.
F flew home on a surprise visit last weekend to join in the birthday celebration of her daughter-in-law. She believes that one must put effort into demonstrating love, and sometimes, a gesture that entails considerable sacrifice tells the other I love you and you are important to me. I could not agree with her more.
While I still find it difficult to speak words of affection, especially those three little words, I love you, to people whom I love, I am learning. Being Asian, I tend to be functional in how I show love. I do the housework. I cook. I take care of the bills. I try to be thoughtful, to take care of needs the other has not even realized she or he has. I note what the other likes and try to gift things that bring pleasure.
It is all well and good, but acts of service, giving gifts, a loving touch or spending quality time together are all not enough if the words of love are missing. Words of affirmation and love that have the power to bless someone profoundly are important. And while it is nice to speak and hear such words during special occasions or celebrations, an unexpected kind word on an ordinary day somehow raises the level of the day into a different stratosphere. The bonus in affirming others in this way is how a blessing meant for another actually rebounds as well, an echo effect of sorts.
Given the way I used my tongue to grievous effect last week, and how disappointed I was with myself, this week has taught me that I can get it blissfully right, especially when I disallow my own need to be perfect control me.
When I speak out of a place of pure sincerity and strength, unmarred by my own shadows, the light of God's love shines brightest, penetrating even the most hardened of hearts (especially my own).
Blessed John XXIII said:
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
As we move closer towards Holy Week, I am inspired to fast from hurtful, angry words and continue to fulfil my potential, hopes and dreams of becoming a woman who speaks the living truth, blessing others in both word and action.
Thank you Uncle H for the gift of your life and I will remember you by emulating your gracious and gentle ways as best I can. May eternal light shine upon you.
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