I have a major flaw. I like to over-analyze situations and people. I can pick an event or person's behaviour to paper thin strips so I tend to be highly critical and judgemental, and therefore not very tolerant or open as a person.
I get uptight and impatient easily when those around me do not behave in a manner I deem appropriate or correct. And I catch myself grousing and whining a lot like a joyless drudge. The world is full of stupid people! Eeeks, so much for being a woman of joy.
So when I read James, chapter 3, verses 13-18 last Monday, it made me stop in my tracks. I pride myself on having a modicum of wisdom that aids me in making decisions and helping others, but am I always wise in a way that is pure, peaceable, gentle, compliant and full of mercy and good fruits, without inconstancy or insincerity? Hmmm, I cannot say yes with much conviction.
Saint James goes on to say there must be no bitter jealousy, selfish ambition boastfulness or falseness in wisdom. Otherwise, it is earthly, unspiritual, even demonic. Wisdom of this kind, he states, also gives birth to disorder and every foul practice, and is not from above.
These are indeed strong cautionary words. How often do my eyes turn the palest hint of green and I find myself saying something unkind about someone? Words of criticism and gossip that inflate my ego and are a form of boasting trip over my lips quite effortlessly. Do I always, absolutely, speak the truth, or is it merely my version of the truth?
Based on Saint James's definition of wisdom, one must know when to act and when to hold back; when to speak and what to say, and when to maintain silence. Above all, one speaks and acts with humility and gentleness if one has true wisdom. And yet, it is not advocating doormat-like or people-pleasing behaviour in our dealings with others.
As Mother Teresa put it: Do not expect your friend to be a perfect person but help your friend to become a perfect person. That's true friendship. Mother Teresa is talking about wisdom here. It takes great wisdom to perfect others, seeing as we ourselves are so imperfect. Thus such wisdom can only come from above.
Enter into dialogue that dispenses with the need to be right (check your ego at the door) and a genuine love and interest for the other. Instead of blurting out pearls of advice that may fall on deaf ears, listen with compassion and patience.
People need time and space to be themselves, to be comfortable expressing their own views, before they can, of their own accord, arrive at a conclusion that holds the incontrovertible truth.
Perfection needs time to simmer on the brazier of a faith-seeking understanding. As a friend, I can help by keeping the flame from going out, coaxing it to burn with a slow, sturdy intensity. This requires an assiduous touch and gentle nurturing. I will fall short often, I know, as I have in the past.
Although I may not always have the deftness of true wisdom, I do seek to lead a good life that is packed solid with works pleasing to the Almighty. So God willing, as my friends become more perfect with time, so will I.
I get uptight and impatient easily when those around me do not behave in a manner I deem appropriate or correct. And I catch myself grousing and whining a lot like a joyless drudge. The world is full of stupid people! Eeeks, so much for being a woman of joy.
So when I read James, chapter 3, verses 13-18 last Monday, it made me stop in my tracks. I pride myself on having a modicum of wisdom that aids me in making decisions and helping others, but am I always wise in a way that is pure, peaceable, gentle, compliant and full of mercy and good fruits, without inconstancy or insincerity? Hmmm, I cannot say yes with much conviction.
Saint James goes on to say there must be no bitter jealousy, selfish ambition boastfulness or falseness in wisdom. Otherwise, it is earthly, unspiritual, even demonic. Wisdom of this kind, he states, also gives birth to disorder and every foul practice, and is not from above.
These are indeed strong cautionary words. How often do my eyes turn the palest hint of green and I find myself saying something unkind about someone? Words of criticism and gossip that inflate my ego and are a form of boasting trip over my lips quite effortlessly. Do I always, absolutely, speak the truth, or is it merely my version of the truth?
Based on Saint James's definition of wisdom, one must know when to act and when to hold back; when to speak and what to say, and when to maintain silence. Above all, one speaks and acts with humility and gentleness if one has true wisdom. And yet, it is not advocating doormat-like or people-pleasing behaviour in our dealings with others.
As Mother Teresa put it: Do not expect your friend to be a perfect person but help your friend to become a perfect person. That's true friendship. Mother Teresa is talking about wisdom here. It takes great wisdom to perfect others, seeing as we ourselves are so imperfect. Thus such wisdom can only come from above.
Enter into dialogue that dispenses with the need to be right (check your ego at the door) and a genuine love and interest for the other. Instead of blurting out pearls of advice that may fall on deaf ears, listen with compassion and patience.
People need time and space to be themselves, to be comfortable expressing their own views, before they can, of their own accord, arrive at a conclusion that holds the incontrovertible truth.
Perfection needs time to simmer on the brazier of a faith-seeking understanding. As a friend, I can help by keeping the flame from going out, coaxing it to burn with a slow, sturdy intensity. This requires an assiduous touch and gentle nurturing. I will fall short often, I know, as I have in the past.
Although I may not always have the deftness of true wisdom, I do seek to lead a good life that is packed solid with works pleasing to the Almighty. So God willing, as my friends become more perfect with time, so will I.
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