I have never been big on birthday celebrations but as I get older, I have come to treasure them more for they have become milestones whereby I take stock of how I have been doing and a time where I re-dedicate my life to God and I ask Him to reveal what are His plans for me in the coming 12 months.

This birthday week has been truly special for not only have I received the well wishes of friends and family near and far, but the blessings, prayers and affirmation I have received have been lovely gifts of the heart and point the way ahead for me.

When one asks, one will receive and my pre-birthday prayers have received an answer through many means. Thus my vocation has been further refined and my spirituality further enriched. Everything I have heard, read or reflected on hones in on being Christ-centred by being anchored in the Word made flesh through dedicated prayer time.

While I have been rewarded amply by seeing the fruits of my labour multiply, I cannot rest and grow complacent, and it has become clear to me that I have grown spiritually flabby.

Despite the cruise control that I have been operating from, God has been generous with me and I have been able to be a positive influence in others' life, but this is not enough. I remember a lecture Father David gave last year about how we can still be instruments of grace in spite of our sinful state. And if we do not endeavour to grow spiritually, we may sink deeper in sin until our own souls may be in need of redemption even as we are a source of grace for others.

Leaders and figures of authority, which we are all called to be, are especially vulnerable for they can still be key builders of His kingdom and yet can be blinded by pride in their own personal lives. They may think I have arrived. I have worked hard enough and all the good fruit I am responsible for must mean I am God's gift to the world. I can slack off. Eventually they slacken so much that they veer off the narrow path completely.

To be truly God-centred, one must continually strive for integration of mind, heart and soul. This means having a robust moral compass that yields consistency in all our decisions, big and small, over time.

Just as we cannot serve two masters, we cannot live by two standards: Gospel values and world values. We need to constantly check that we are steering True North, towards God all the time, in EVERY area of our lives.

This means living honestly, with honour and integrity especially in the littlest things. The moment we succumb to the least bit of dishonesty, we will begin to rationalize our own behaviour and our conscience immediately dulls. I am always amazed at how I can feel extremely guilty over my bad behaviour and how I dismiss it summarily the moment I rationalize the situation. Black turns to white in a blink.

Thus we cannot rely on our own resources to build our own little fiefdoms but must look to God to be the source and summit of our lives. Being vigilant and diligent in how we worship, witness and serve is vital, as well as keeping humble, maintaining a teachable heart always.

Father Yim spoke about dedicated prayer time during the lectors' recollection last Saturday and I realize I have been relying more on mindfulness and praying whenever I have an opportunity throughout the day which is good but certainly not enough.

He reminded me that ministry without spirituality descends into a job where grace is not fully actualized. And the only way to nurture my spirituality apart from dedicated prayer time is to meditate on the Word of God, attend at least one weekday mass besides Sunday mass and to go for reconciliation at least once every two months. He made me realize how much I have minimized spending dedicated time with Jesus.

Yesterday Father Timothy Radcliffe spoke about the significance of silence and beauty in his spiritual journey and I was reminded that Christ speaks to me most profoundly and clearly in silence, and that the truth of beauty never fails to touch my soul. And so, a return to contemplative prayer is necessitated as well as frequent consciousness examens.

I am excited and not a little scared of the road ahead for my immediate reaction is I am not capable or worthy enough. Why me? But I was reminded by Saint Paul last Sunday: My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.

As I have run out of excuses, the best answer to Christ's invitation is a simple yes.
My gorgeous guava birthday cake with three flowers to represent the Trinity and serve as a reminder to let my gifts bloom and blossom forth.
A heart to represent love which is my ethos in life and the light to represent the light of Christ, a celebratory light that was given to me upon my baptism.
The tartness and sweetness of the plum powder reminds me that the sour sweetness of life taken together can become life's most delicious morsels.