Faith is a gift. But like many things we receive for free, it is not accorded the full appreciation it deserves. It is taken for granted and treated with profanity until it is subverted and sometimes even lost.
Being a cradle Catholic, I never appreciated the gift of my faith and saw it as a burden and even the abuse of my human rights: how could my parents have arranged for my baptism when I was merely 12 days old and in no position to give an opinion?
I believed in the idea of God but I didn't know Him at all. I saw organized religion as outdated and oppressive, and made no effort to go beyond the rudiments of childhood Catechism.
The sacrament of reconciliation was an invasion of my privacy for why should I tell my deepest, darkest sins to a human stranger who although a representative of God was still a man?
Prayer was an arduous duty. The Bible was filled with images of a strange, unfathomable God and a bunch of sinful losers - not a riveting read at all.
No pre-marital sex. No contraception. No divorce. Come on, we were living in the 20th century! I was a product of the 80s and believed in personal freedom as the supreme right of my humanity which ran right smack into the forbidding pillars of Scripture and Tradition.
Stories and bad personal experiences of religious who were less than holy further fuelled my cynicism and justified my belief that organized religion was a crock.
I checked out for 20 years although I dutifully went to church every Sunday for many wrong reasons save one: deep down I was desperate that God would throw me a lifeline even though I was drowning in a sea of misery, beyond redemption.
I did not reckon for the strength of purpose of the Good Shepherd and when I finally looked up and found Him (He had found me a long time ago and was just waiting for me to see Him holding out His arms to me), I knew I was home at last when I walked right into His embrace.
As Saint Augustine once said, "God who created you without you will not save you without you."
Learning to walk in my new-found faith was difficult and painful, but exhilarating and joyous at the same time.
I was constantly awed at the beauty and wisdom I found in all things RC even as I grappled with how I could incorporate the moral truths I discovered into my own life.
The "rules" were God-inspired and came alive when I tried them on for size and lived them out for an extended period of time even when I wasn't yet fully convinced of their veracity.
I was also appalled at how ignorant I was, and at how I had taken my faith so lightly for so long.
On reading Scott and Kimberly Hahn's journey to Catholicism in Rome Sweet Home I was humbled and heartened at the same time.
Humbled at the depth of their faith and heartened that God could inspire such passionate advocates.
Here were two staunch, good Christians, actively living out their faith, but because of Scott Hahn's thirst for truth, the "Bible detective" came to the realization that the Catholic Church was the one, true church and not the "whore of Babylon" he had been led to believe.
The challenged faith of this former Protestant minister saw him enrolling in a Catholic university and defending the Catholic faith against Catholics, irony of ironies, before he finally arrived home in the Catholic Church.
His and his wife's faith journey was one of copious tears, deep conflict, pain and much soul-searching. They lost friends and a promising future of their dreams. There was division in the marriage and both must have experienced great confusion amidst the increasing conviction of a new paradigm of truth.
Yet their faith never wavered and they both tirelessly and assiduously searched for the truth until it blossomed and became inscribed in their hearts.
As I continue to fertilize and water my faith, I can only wish for half their enthusiasm and diligence in cultivating a living and transforming faith.
Another hero of mine in keeping the faith and staying the course is Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit who was also a man of science and a brilliant academic. He refused to abandon his faith and chose obedience to a church that condemned his writings and silenced him (his books were banned and he could not teach) during his lifetime. His was a faith beyond human understanding, just like Christ.
May I become an ardent and wise defender of the Truth as the Hahns, with the fortitude of de Chardin so as not to profane my gift of faith (ever again) and I urge all Catholics to ask for a "faith-seeking understanding" when it comes to the teachings of the Magisterium before making the decision to walk away from the goodness and beauty of Roman Catholicism.
Faith is only as powerful a redemptive blessing, deep and fruitful, as you will allow.
Being a cradle Catholic, I never appreciated the gift of my faith and saw it as a burden and even the abuse of my human rights: how could my parents have arranged for my baptism when I was merely 12 days old and in no position to give an opinion?
I believed in the idea of God but I didn't know Him at all. I saw organized religion as outdated and oppressive, and made no effort to go beyond the rudiments of childhood Catechism.
The sacrament of reconciliation was an invasion of my privacy for why should I tell my deepest, darkest sins to a human stranger who although a representative of God was still a man?
Prayer was an arduous duty. The Bible was filled with images of a strange, unfathomable God and a bunch of sinful losers - not a riveting read at all.
No pre-marital sex. No contraception. No divorce. Come on, we were living in the 20th century! I was a product of the 80s and believed in personal freedom as the supreme right of my humanity which ran right smack into the forbidding pillars of Scripture and Tradition.
Stories and bad personal experiences of religious who were less than holy further fuelled my cynicism and justified my belief that organized religion was a crock.
I checked out for 20 years although I dutifully went to church every Sunday for many wrong reasons save one: deep down I was desperate that God would throw me a lifeline even though I was drowning in a sea of misery, beyond redemption.
I did not reckon for the strength of purpose of the Good Shepherd and when I finally looked up and found Him (He had found me a long time ago and was just waiting for me to see Him holding out His arms to me), I knew I was home at last when I walked right into His embrace.
As Saint Augustine once said, "God who created you without you will not save you without you."
Learning to walk in my new-found faith was difficult and painful, but exhilarating and joyous at the same time.
I was constantly awed at the beauty and wisdom I found in all things RC even as I grappled with how I could incorporate the moral truths I discovered into my own life.
The "rules" were God-inspired and came alive when I tried them on for size and lived them out for an extended period of time even when I wasn't yet fully convinced of their veracity.
I was also appalled at how ignorant I was, and at how I had taken my faith so lightly for so long.
On reading Scott and Kimberly Hahn's journey to Catholicism in Rome Sweet Home I was humbled and heartened at the same time.
Here were two staunch, good Christians, actively living out their faith, but because of Scott Hahn's thirst for truth, the "Bible detective" came to the realization that the Catholic Church was the one, true church and not the "whore of Babylon" he had been led to believe.
The challenged faith of this former Protestant minister saw him enrolling in a Catholic university and defending the Catholic faith against Catholics, irony of ironies, before he finally arrived home in the Catholic Church.
His and his wife's faith journey was one of copious tears, deep conflict, pain and much soul-searching. They lost friends and a promising future of their dreams. There was division in the marriage and both must have experienced great confusion amidst the increasing conviction of a new paradigm of truth.
Yet their faith never wavered and they both tirelessly and assiduously searched for the truth until it blossomed and became inscribed in their hearts.
As I continue to fertilize and water my faith, I can only wish for half their enthusiasm and diligence in cultivating a living and transforming faith.
Another hero of mine in keeping the faith and staying the course is Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit who was also a man of science and a brilliant academic. He refused to abandon his faith and chose obedience to a church that condemned his writings and silenced him (his books were banned and he could not teach) during his lifetime. His was a faith beyond human understanding, just like Christ.May I become an ardent and wise defender of the Truth as the Hahns, with the fortitude of de Chardin so as not to profane my gift of faith (ever again) and I urge all Catholics to ask for a "faith-seeking understanding" when it comes to the teachings of the Magisterium before making the decision to walk away from the goodness and beauty of Roman Catholicism.
Faith is only as powerful a redemptive blessing, deep and fruitful, as you will allow.
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