A was sharing with me when we met for breakfast a passage she really liked from Martin Seligman's book Authentic Happiness which talks about gratitude and forgiveness as being important in the search for happiness.
And just yesterday, Brother Terence was commenting on the wide disparity between the number of petitions compared to the number of thanksgiving prayers reported at each novena.
It was a timely reminder for me as I have had to exercise forgiveness in a number of situations this last week. I have also experienced many things to be grateful for and there were times I was not suitably thankful (the bane of being a highly critical person).
It isn't easy to work with people who are vastly different in outlook, temperament and motivation. I get impatient when people don't seem to be on the same page as I am (which is naturally the right page), and I have to remind myself we are on the same team, especially when I get irritated by something silly someone said.
But people like these are easy to forgive, it's those whom I love that are harder to forgive when they hurt me and make me angry, sad or disappointed.
Love complicates things. Because not only do we have to contend with how a loved one's actions made us feel, we also have to grapple with our own reactive emotions about ourselves.
When we are exposed as foolish or gullible in how we choose to love, forgiving someone who is mean or nasty to us is not easy for we sometimes cannot forgive our own foolishness.
Only fools get taken in twice or choose to persist in loving someone who is hurtful and hateful.
Even the wisdom of knowing I am doing the right thing does not make me feel better.
Forgiveness is a choice I have to consciously make, again and again, despite the maelstrom of negative emotions within me - this is possible only if I am humble enough to realize I cannot do it on my own and must rely on God's grace.
Perhaps today's Gospel says it all, to have a child's wholehearted acceptance of Jesus' invitation to rest in Him, to learn to be gentle and humble of heart as He is, that is the way to find rest for my soul. (Matthew 11:25-30)
Rather than focus on the hurts I have received, I will lay my hurts, my burdens at His feet and allow Him to teach me how to let them go, and let Him transform me (not others who need to change their ways).
And rather than judge the imperfect situations, the less-than-ideal relationships and the ways I fall short despite my desire to be good, I will focus on being grateful for where I am right now, for all the love and graces I have received thus far.
I thus, give thanks, and sing praise, in the words of Isaiah*.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD,
my whole being shall exult in my God;
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
ad as a bride adorns herself with jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its shoots,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up,
May my heart always be fertile ground for the Lord's wisdom and compassion so that I can find a real and lasting happiness in spite of life's follies and caprices.
* Isaiah 61:10-11
And just yesterday, Brother Terence was commenting on the wide disparity between the number of petitions compared to the number of thanksgiving prayers reported at each novena.
It was a timely reminder for me as I have had to exercise forgiveness in a number of situations this last week. I have also experienced many things to be grateful for and there were times I was not suitably thankful (the bane of being a highly critical person).
It isn't easy to work with people who are vastly different in outlook, temperament and motivation. I get impatient when people don't seem to be on the same page as I am (which is naturally the right page), and I have to remind myself we are on the same team, especially when I get irritated by something silly someone said.
But people like these are easy to forgive, it's those whom I love that are harder to forgive when they hurt me and make me angry, sad or disappointed.
Love complicates things. Because not only do we have to contend with how a loved one's actions made us feel, we also have to grapple with our own reactive emotions about ourselves.
When we are exposed as foolish or gullible in how we choose to love, forgiving someone who is mean or nasty to us is not easy for we sometimes cannot forgive our own foolishness.
Only fools get taken in twice or choose to persist in loving someone who is hurtful and hateful.
Even the wisdom of knowing I am doing the right thing does not make me feel better.
Forgiveness is a choice I have to consciously make, again and again, despite the maelstrom of negative emotions within me - this is possible only if I am humble enough to realize I cannot do it on my own and must rely on God's grace.
Perhaps today's Gospel says it all, to have a child's wholehearted acceptance of Jesus' invitation to rest in Him, to learn to be gentle and humble of heart as He is, that is the way to find rest for my soul. (Matthew 11:25-30)
Rather than focus on the hurts I have received, I will lay my hurts, my burdens at His feet and allow Him to teach me how to let them go, and let Him transform me (not others who need to change their ways).
And rather than judge the imperfect situations, the less-than-ideal relationships and the ways I fall short despite my desire to be good, I will focus on being grateful for where I am right now, for all the love and graces I have received thus far.
I thus, give thanks, and sing praise, in the words of Isaiah*.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD,
my whole being shall exult in my God;
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
ad as a bride adorns herself with jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its shoots,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up,
May my heart always be fertile ground for the Lord's wisdom and compassion so that I can find a real and lasting happiness in spite of life's follies and caprices.
* Isaiah 61:10-11
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