I met my friend Linguini for dinner last night after which we went for a walk at the Botanics. It was a flawless end to the day.
Lazy stream-of-consciousness chatting as we strolled, taking in the sights, smells and sounds of the balmy night.
I was charmed by the stark, monochromatic beauty of trees and shrubs silhouetted against the night skies.
One of the topics that came up was perfection: how we defined it and how we felt about it i.e. whether we felt we could be perfect or if we deserved a perfect life.
While there can be perfect moments, much like this evening or a Wordsworth's Daffodils moment, perfection, like happiness, is frustratingly ethereal and is to be savoured in the moment even as it slips by all too fast - to be fleetingly appreciated as it cannot be grasped.
Behind the drive for "the perfect life" is happiness and how we navigate through life depends on what we define as happiness.
As both ancient Greek and modern-day philosophers propose, happiness is not found in things like money, power or position but rather in leading a life of virtue.
Aristotle believed that happiness is striving for "the highest human good" or "living well". This offer of happiness is one Jesus made in John's gospel to us - He came that we may have life "to the full" - and one we often overlook or forget.
Why are virtues so important? Virtues enable us to integrate our minds, wills and emotions so that no matter what life throws at us, we will be able to tackle even the most fearful of problems and emerge with honour intact and a nobility of spirit present.
We all need prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance for these cardinal virtues steer us to make good decisions and right choices, choices that bring life and lead to harmony.
Christians would also propose the theological virtues of faith, hope and love for these three virtues deepen and enrich the human experience, spicing it up with joy even in times of loss.
Sadly, most people today view virtues as morally restrictive instead of what they simply are: moral excellence and intelligence, and a way to living a perfectly happy life.
These are the same people who view commandments and Church teachings as kill-joy restraints rather than life-affirming guidelines.
I was once such a person for I had a child's understanding of moral law and was motivated to keep the law out of fear of punishment. Hence the Church's teachings especially on chastity and contraception were viewed as unnatural, impossible and cause for resentment.
The sticking point came when I decided I no longer wanted to sit on the fence or be wishy-washy in my beliefs, yet I still struggled with Church teachings for I was so steeped in the ethics of the highly sexualized world we live in today.
As A. recently said, when in doubt, rely on the wisdom of the 2,000 year-old tradition of the Church and the wisdom of those who have gone before me, while continuing to question and search for answers. So that was what I had to do initially.
In gaining a better understanding of natural law and universal principles, my motivations to be and do good have changed gradually through the years.
This process did not happen overnight or easily. I have also had to work hard on making virtues, especially temperance, mine.
When is the moment one knows one has acquired a virtue*?
Father David stresses integration; when one delights in exercising the virtue, being good without feeling conflicted about it. In other words being happy being good.
Self-control may be a starting point but it is not enough. If one has only self-control to rely on, then the virtue is not yet yours for repression is a pretty miserable state and one would be like a time bomb waiting to explode.
I actually see this happening in my life now. The struggles I used to have trying to be good, to do the right thing, have pretty much evaporated.
Most times, I can look temptation in the eye and firmly say, "No thank you," walking away without bemoaning my negative response.
I am even happy, certainly feeling good being good. Needless to say all this is possible only because I keep my focus on Jesus and rely on Him to be my guiding light.
While I cannot say I am living the perfect life in that there is still lots of room for improvement, more virtues to master, I am perfectly placed on my journey of life.
Something I derive great pleasure from and give thanks for constantly.
* Aristotle writes "to like and to dislike the right things is thought to be the most important element in the formation of a virtuous character"
Lazy stream-of-consciousness chatting as we strolled, taking in the sights, smells and sounds of the balmy night.
I was charmed by the stark, monochromatic beauty of trees and shrubs silhouetted against the night skies.
One of the topics that came up was perfection: how we defined it and how we felt about it i.e. whether we felt we could be perfect or if we deserved a perfect life.
While there can be perfect moments, much like this evening or a Wordsworth's Daffodils moment, perfection, like happiness, is frustratingly ethereal and is to be savoured in the moment even as it slips by all too fast - to be fleetingly appreciated as it cannot be grasped.
Behind the drive for "the perfect life" is happiness and how we navigate through life depends on what we define as happiness.
As both ancient Greek and modern-day philosophers propose, happiness is not found in things like money, power or position but rather in leading a life of virtue.
Aristotle believed that happiness is striving for "the highest human good" or "living well". This offer of happiness is one Jesus made in John's gospel to us - He came that we may have life "to the full" - and one we often overlook or forget.
Why are virtues so important? Virtues enable us to integrate our minds, wills and emotions so that no matter what life throws at us, we will be able to tackle even the most fearful of problems and emerge with honour intact and a nobility of spirit present.
We all need prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance for these cardinal virtues steer us to make good decisions and right choices, choices that bring life and lead to harmony.
Christians would also propose the theological virtues of faith, hope and love for these three virtues deepen and enrich the human experience, spicing it up with joy even in times of loss.
Sadly, most people today view virtues as morally restrictive instead of what they simply are: moral excellence and intelligence, and a way to living a perfectly happy life.
These are the same people who view commandments and Church teachings as kill-joy restraints rather than life-affirming guidelines.
I was once such a person for I had a child's understanding of moral law and was motivated to keep the law out of fear of punishment. Hence the Church's teachings especially on chastity and contraception were viewed as unnatural, impossible and cause for resentment.
The sticking point came when I decided I no longer wanted to sit on the fence or be wishy-washy in my beliefs, yet I still struggled with Church teachings for I was so steeped in the ethics of the highly sexualized world we live in today.
As A. recently said, when in doubt, rely on the wisdom of the 2,000 year-old tradition of the Church and the wisdom of those who have gone before me, while continuing to question and search for answers. So that was what I had to do initially.
In gaining a better understanding of natural law and universal principles, my motivations to be and do good have changed gradually through the years.
This process did not happen overnight or easily. I have also had to work hard on making virtues, especially temperance, mine.
When is the moment one knows one has acquired a virtue*?
Father David stresses integration; when one delights in exercising the virtue, being good without feeling conflicted about it. In other words being happy being good.
Self-control may be a starting point but it is not enough. If one has only self-control to rely on, then the virtue is not yet yours for repression is a pretty miserable state and one would be like a time bomb waiting to explode.
I actually see this happening in my life now. The struggles I used to have trying to be good, to do the right thing, have pretty much evaporated.
Most times, I can look temptation in the eye and firmly say, "No thank you," walking away without bemoaning my negative response.
I am even happy, certainly feeling good being good. Needless to say all this is possible only because I keep my focus on Jesus and rely on Him to be my guiding light.
While I cannot say I am living the perfect life in that there is still lots of room for improvement, more virtues to master, I am perfectly placed on my journey of life.
Something I derive great pleasure from and give thanks for constantly.
* Aristotle writes "to like and to dislike the right things is thought to be the most important element in the formation of a virtuous character"
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