Stillness for nothingness

I recently deactivated  my Facebook account. Over time, I have grown increasingly uncomfortable with the lack of privacy, the "show all, tell all" culture of FB and the constant invitation to be a voyeur, peeking into the lives of people I don't even know well.

I suppose blogs are similar in that way but the difference is that I have control over what I share in my blog whereas on FB, I don't always have that option.

Someone may post a photo of me, a private moment that I do not wish a world of strangers to see. The photo may be in circulation to only a select few, however, all it takes is for one of the recipients of the digital image to post a comment or forward it and the image takes on a new public life of its own.

The second reason why I quit FB is that I had begun to spend too much time on it, playing games and just being completely unproductive and disconnected to the real world as I plug into its virtual attractions.

It's alarming how strangely void my life feels without it, although I know I can definitely put my time to better use (and hopefully not exchange it for another addiction).

Sometimes, it's the seemingly innocuous things that require the most vigilance. When I began to lose sleep whiling away my time on FB, I knew it was time to stop.

While technology has definitely enhanced communication, the improper use of technology has spawned a plethora of new evils in the world such as the exponential increase of child predators and a thriving pornography trade; addictive behaviours that have led to the destruction of marriages, family and social structures; and a general lowering of moral standards as people live more and more in relativistic, virtual, fantasy worlds, divorced from reality.

Among its lesser evils are addictions like mine, or the need to continually upgrade and acquire the latest technology has to offer, regardless of whether the current phone/computer/digital camera is still functional.

Technology is not a bad thing, but an inordinate attachment to any of its offerings, resulting in the neglect of one’s duties or the body’s need for sleep, fellowship (chat rooms or virtual relationships cannot replace face to face encounters) or exercise (our bodies are created for movement even in hot and humid Singapore) is not healthy.

Having had a chance to reflect on my life this past weekend, I can see that I've allowed too many distractions into my life and there is a need to simplify. To re-focus and de-clutter my life.

Esther Fong’s presentation on discernment during the ICPE-led “Know Christ and Make Him Known” Weekend Retreat at the FMM House of Prayer was an excellent reminder to me to make discernment a lifestyle choice and to use what is left of my time on earth well, living every moment of my life meaningfully and mindfully.

As Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living" and I have therefore renewed my commitment to spending at least 30 minutes in solitude to pray and reflect - a requisite for discernment is to “be still” - putting the time that I have freed up from FB to better use.

Mystic St. John of the Cross wrote in The Ascent of Mount Carmel:

To reach satisfaction in all

desire its possession in nothing.

To come to possession in all

desire the possession of nothing.

To arrive at being all

desire to be nothing.

As I enter into this reflective season in my life, I make the words of John of the Cross mine for only in nothingness will I find what I am searching for. Always.