Building houses

When I first arrived in Phnom Penh last Wednesday, it was sunset and I saw something I had never seen before, an iridescent cloud, glowing in a crazy mix of nacreous colours.

It was a surreal experience for people were piling into mini-vans or waiting to get out of the airport while I alone stood stock-still, drinking in the beauty of the fast-morphing and fading colours.

I felt this was an apt metaphor for the recent bloody history of Cambodia. Instead of noticing the horror of genocide committed under our noses, we were people busy going about the business of living, oblivious to much, save our own immediate needs and wants.

And that is why I applaud people like Janne Ritskes*, who came to Cambodia in the 90s and who has committed her life to helping a nation pick up the pieces by rebuilding communities and raising the standard of living by enabling financial independence.

I sat through a grim and gripping recounting of Cambodia's history by Janne in the Tabitha Cambodia shop/office/factory and consequently visited the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum and the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek.

The magnitude of the number of lives lost (about two-three million in four years) was mind-numbing, and all I could do was pray under my breath as I walked around the same grounds where countless people were tortured and killed.

While I would never knowingly visit places where such wide-spread evil was committed, I can appreciate why the tour to the museum and killing fields was mandatory, for Janne wanted us to see the reality of genocide and perhaps appreciate the wounds that still live on in the faces and souls of the present population.

It was with great resolve that I ventured into the countryside with over 40 other members of my house-building group to build 40 houses in one and a half days and hopefully communicate to the villagers that they were worth the time, effort and money. They mattered in the world.

As I hammered in nails, dripping sweat down aching muscles, Janne's words echoed in my mind, "It's not about you, it's all about them," and I hope that in some small way, I have shown the villagers that just as there is evil in the world, there is good.

* Janne founded the Tabitha Foundation in 1994 to help the poor of Cambodia. To find out more about what they do, go to http://www.tabithasingapore.com/ and see how you can contribute to Tabitha.

Mission ready

Every living thing on earth was created with a mission and purpose.

Likewise I am born with a mission, one which invites me to contribute in ways personal, to leave my own unique stamp on the world.

The last two talks that Pia and Stefan Attard gave over this weekend helped me delineate this gift of mission that was bestowed to me at birth.

At the Saturday talk on woman, Pia spoke about the Hebrew words used to name and describe Eve, the first woman.

According to these definitions, woman is created with an inner space, one that allows her to receive; she is to be man's help meet, to support and complement him; and she is by nature nurturing, life-giving and fruitful, always reaching out to others.

Unfortunately not all of us know exactly why we are created. Most of us, like the woman at the well, have made a few wrong turns in life, sinned a fair bit and have experienced rejection, discrimination and hurt.

We may have lost a sense of who we are, hungering and looking for love but not truly finding it.

It is only when she drinks and is filled with the water Christ offers, that she regains her dignity and true identity as woman, and then goes off to lead others to this amazing truth of 'living water' that satiates.

Leading others to the truth is a fundamental human drive for we all gravitate towards what is good, true and beautiful in life. This was addressed by Pia and Stefan on Sunday afternoon.

In order to fulfil this mission of Christian leadership, there are five things we must recognize:

i) we are called to servant leadership; to serve under the lordship of God in our brokenness, just as Peter in his failure to acknowledge Christ was broken and became the rock upon which the Church was built.

ii) we are called to a ministry of compassion. To be able to suffer/empathize with others, we must take on the attitude of Christ at Gethsemane: to do whatever is possible to overcome suffering but to also accede and ask for grace to carry the cross when we realize it is beyond us.

iii) we have authority under authority. If we are obedient to the authority of God, we can carry the accountability of our given authority with integrity, and consequently earn moral authority.

iv) there is an ongoing transformation involved as we strive to bring out the original beauty of the image and likeness of God in ourselves.

v) we are all wounded healers. If we allow Christ into our broken lives, to wash our dirty feet again and again, then we will be able to reflect His unconditional love to others and bring about healing.

In order to be mission ready, it is vital that we base our faith on:

i) kerygma - we must be familiar with the Word of God, studying it like Jesus did, so that we can live it out and preach or proclaim the good news with authority.

ii) leitourgia - by participating in the liturgy and by being Eucharistic people, we can help others celebrate and give thanks for the gift of their lives.

iii) koinonia - through communion by intimate participation, we can grow the bonds we each have with family, friends and God.

iv) marturia - we must be ready to witness, to help others grow in faith by testifying to God's love in our lives.

v) diakonia - by reaching out in service to help the poor and the oppressed.

It's by no means easy to be missionary, but when we allow ourselves to see through Jesus' eyes and feel with His compassionate heart, then we can preach in His voice by being His hands and feet here on earth.

And do ordinary things extraordinarily.

Living on the edge

When I think of living on the edge, I usually think of it as being in a high risk situation that will set me up for a fall, and it's not exactly a place I want to be for I like being comfortable, and safe.

I was challenged this week to think of it as a a place where God wants me to be. Pia and Stefan Attard were here from Malta to run a six-day retreat called Roots and Wings (August 6th - 11th) that encouraged participants to acknowledge and take responsibility for their history, thereby allowing them to fly on wings of grace.

It was a litle like Pastoral Counselling School which I attended in 2003. So it was familiar, and yet, new insights bubbled up and I am able to see with more clarity what I should be doing and what blocks my path.

Talk about sitting on the hard edge of my reality.

But coming to the edge is not enough, just as knowing what I have to do and not yet doing it is not enough. I must now act, in order to grow and come closer to my vocation and to my true self, the self I was created to be.

It is timely that I stumbled on this paragraph I must've copied from a book I read that really inspired me and I want to share it with you (afraid I did not note who wrote this or where I read this):

"There is no room in Christianity for mediocrity. Sloth is a sin, apathetically doing nothing when something needs to be done.

"Fear is paralyzed procrastination over unholiness and unhealthy mental attitudes, that is used as a weapon to keep us from experiencing and enjoying the love and purpose that God has for each of us."

So while I fear the edge experience, I know that as long as I am focused on doing what the Father wants, His will, I cannot go wrong.
And I will soar__
...if I but step off the edge.

Water into wine

Can two wounded souls, united by the Trinity,

ever find the answer

to how discordant notes can swell

into a symphony

that restores all hearts,

cleaving as one, man and woman,

For nuptial bliss wrought from agony?

The bitter with the sweet is what refines the palate,

brings flavour to experience,

transforming blah into extraordinary.

But fidelity taken lightly exudes a frangible warmth

While unforgiveness and reconciliation

make unlikely bedfellows.

Relationships at risk must undergo metanoia*.

Faith, hope and love will prevail

through darkness and multi-varied deaths.

For Commandments keep us safe,

when Confusion rules the day.

We choose the narrow path

to taste the wine at Cana,

The best - at last! - is only what we deserve.

Believe.

* The Greek term for repentance, metanoia, denotes a change of mind, a reorientation, a fundamental transforma­tion of outlook, of an individual's vision of the world and of her/himself, and a new way of loving others and the Universe. Taken from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metanoia

Holy priests

This evening I went for the wake service of Fr. Tom O'Neill to pay my last respects. When I heard about his death, I was shocked for I had just attended mass celebrated by Fr. O'Neill barely a month ago and had found him inspiring.

I had received the news of his demise last Friday evening, along with the news that Fr. Renckens had joined him a day later on the 31st.

While I did not really know Fr. Renckens apart from the occasional mass I attended at Blessed Sacrament, Fr. O'Neill was an integral part of my childhood.

The Church of St. Ignatius was my parish through my pre-teen and teen years and the Jesuit fathers there pretty much gave me a very positive picture of priesthood.

Fr. O'Neill, in particular, exemplified what a priest should be: gentle, earnest, sincere, humble, encouraging, with a certain joie de vivre that gave one the impression that everything was alright with the world.

I loved that he celebrated mass with such joy and reverence that raised the liturgy to a beautiful and sacred experience.

While I regret that I did not know him better, I thank him for shaping my views on life, for encouraging me to hope in humanity and trust in God's faithfulness.

Pope Benedict XVI recently declared this year the Year for Priests and it made me realize just how much I take our priests for granted. I always assume that they will be there to lead us and help us worship as a community despite the dwindling number of vocations taken up each year.

Instead of losing faith each time I hear or read about how a priest stumbles, I realize I should pray now for all priests, for their protection against all evil, for their steadfastness and for a renewal of their faith every day.

I am also increasingly grateful for all the holy men and women who have consecrated their lives to serving God in an extra-special way.

Thank you, Fr. O'Neill and Fr. Renckens, for living out your vocation to the end, loving much, living fully.

Requiescat in pace.