After all, it should be a year older, a year wiser, especially since the body seems to be breaking down despite my feeble attempts at maintaining it so the least I can do is cultivate my mind and spirit. (Hah! as JJ my Texan friend who lives in Taiwan would say.)
Despite all the busyness in my life, I realized I managed to accomplish quite a few things. Chief among which has been my deepening relationship with Jesus. The growing intimacy, the everyday discovery of new facets of self, JC and us (JC n me).
While I have to say my best birthday in terms of thrills was the year I went diving in Komodo, in terms of a deep inner joy, it would have to be this year.
I realized that the biggest gift I received this year has been a freedom from and a freedom for.
I received the freedom from bondage of co-dependent relationships of the past and unhealthy emotional ties. I was given the opportunity say goodbye to relationships, people that I had held on to because past ties, our histories together, were so dear to my heart.
I was given the freedom for being - to be the me I was created to be. To be a woman who loves deeply and boundlessly, unafraid of being vulnerable and open to love's infinite possibilities. To love unconditionally and with the detachment of selfless maturity.
It's incredible how this freedom has given birth to such upwellings of joy and peace. A kind of nirvana. It feels absolutely fabulous!
If there were such a thing as a perfect day, this year's birthday ranks close. All the love I received from family and friends. All the yummy treats (I was wined and dined and birthday caked out). All the beautiful presents.
There are hints already of what is to come over the next 12 months and as I allow things, events to unfold as they will, I am reminded of what E. once said to me, that God is a God of order.
And so I wait... as I continue to exercise the glorious gift of freedom.
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