Mustard seeds

Yes, I made it! I passed my Pilates exam and I am still on a high since yesterday. Most of all, I give thanks to the One who made it possible.

It was hard leading up to March 29th, I experienced many moments of near-despair for it seemed an uphill and impossible task to finish all the prep before the exam: getting signed off on being able to perform all the exercises perfectly (with my bum shoulder it was frustration in the extreme) and finding the time to type up all my notes and study. Amid the distractions of teaching and all the other activities He had called me to say yes to – all this within the absurd time frame of two months was a logistical nightmare. Then there was the severe drain on my financial resources which did not help.

At one point in time I came close to abandoning the route I’d chosen for it all seemed too difficult. A chat with my Spiritual Director sorted me out for he told me, “You cannot change course in the midst of crisis”. I had to trust that thus far, what I had discerned through prayer and meditation was indeed His will for me and I had to persevere walking through the valley. Giving up was not an option.

Despite the madness and the little faith in my ability to make it, the one thing that kept me going was to surrender and let go of my human fears, and trust Him to lead the way. He has been doing such a fantastic job these last few years, so how could I possibly allow perceived obstacles to dilute my faith now?

I hung on stubbornly to my prayer time for I knew that this was vital in terms of spiritual sustenance. The experience of praying for the success of the IWD event made me realize how crucial it was to pray for His anointing. So I would ask for His blessing and guidance every morning and leave everything else up to Him – how to balance my time between study and work, etc.

When I look back on March and all that I was called to undertake, I am awed at how being faithful to each task led to blessings unimagined and abundant. How each little seed, when tended with love, sprouted, and became beautiful testimonies of His love for me.