It’s been slightly crazy lately, hence the silence. I start the day teaching at 7:00 am and then make it home to start writing after lunch. Racing to finish what has turned into an urgent job (a book of 70-odd pages) due to poor planning on the client’s side (impossible deadlines are always the result of a client’s or agency’s hemming and hawing, never the copywriter), I often finish work at midnight, with just a short break in between for dinner. While the body is protesting mightily with aches in places too many to inventory, and the mind is overactive running a million miles a minute on stress adrenaline, there is a great sense of achievement from work accomplished during that day. And a marginal sense of pride at churning out halfway decent work. Whether the work is decent is debatable, but at midnight, if it’s a coherent piece of writing, that’s pretty decent in my book – and the client’s (one hopes).
The last two weeks has made me realize I enjoy working hard. It needn’t be as extreme as just past and ongoing experience, but I do miss the buzz of trying to finish 20 tasks a minute. The challenge is exhilarating. And the financial rewards aren’t too shabby either. The only downside is the inability to sleep at night and the bone-seeping tiredness. That I will not miss.
The other thing this project has done is to remind me that writing is one of the main talents I have been graced with, and in using it, I am doing what I was put on this earth to do. I’ve always maintained that God has a great sense of humour and this is one example of it. Those of you who know who Matthew is, will know that he is my first book, the one I’ve been trying to write for quite some time now (won’t say exactly how long for it’s q embarrassing to admit to my lack of self-discipline and inability to focus).
I did set out with serious intent in June, being a slow teaching month, seeing as everyone was away on vacation, but got side-tracked by this project. I get the feeling that Jesus looked at me and went, “Yah, right, woman, I’ve heard that one before,” and instead decided to have me hone my skills and earn some moolah at the same time, given my impending need of it in September when I get really serious about my Pilates certification. He knows what I need – can’t argue with that. Plus, I did bring up my lack of discipline in my regular meeting with my spiritual director and he told me that I should pray to have Him channel my energies. I did as my SD suggested and I have been channelled –big time. So whoever said God does not answer prayer should talk to me!
Actually the reason why I began my blog is through the Lord’s prompting as well. I am not quite sure why, or whether the people who read it will find it enriching in some way, but will continue to be guided by the Spirit. I suppose ultimately I would like to share that walking God’s ways, through the ‘narrow gate’, is highly challenging, yet incredibly rewarding. How easy it is to fall from grace, but, if I seek with humbled, contrite spirit, He will forgive me and continue to bless me.
In today’s second reading, Paul talks about his ‘thorn in the flesh’ and how he still struggles against this thorn despite being a man with an abundance of God’s spirit in him. “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” Wow, what a powerful, affirming message from Jesus. I don’t need to be perfect (thank God indeed), and as long as I seek His grace, I will be fine, in fact, more than fine.
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