"How is marriage treating you?" enquired S whom I meet something like once a year. It is now two and a half years since I tied the knot so the honeymoon period is well over.
Not to sound too saccharin or smarmy but marriage has been wonderful, awesome even. Sure, it feels like a tidal wave of changes and responsibilities, an emotional roller-coaster at times (so much to learn, so many failures) and I miss occasionally the simplicity of my former single life, but it has been good, and often great.
Having a gentle, patient man love and respect me has been nurturing and healing even. I am more confident, less headstrong, and less quick to fly off the handle, or rather I am able to keep my hair trigger temper under control a lot better. It's taken heaps of prayer and a dedicated reliance on the Spirit to lead and guide both of us and, God willing, this will be a hallmark of our marriage: pray and work, which is P's school motto.
I cannot stress enough the importance of attending daily mass together and praying together for I have no other explanation how we have somehow made the necessary adjustments and transitions so well notwithstanding the occasional tempest. During the liturgical offering at mass, I always make my own silent offering to God of my marriage and myself and I ask Him to sanctify both P and myself, and our marriage. I am so grateful He hears this silent prayer and helps us along daily.
Cooperating with our Heavenly Father, P and I both believe I living out the love language of service and we do our best to show our love for the other in small and varied gestures and ways which speak of generosity of heart. When there are misunderstandings, we work through them with compassion and forgiveness, putting effort into building strong bonds in our relationship.
We never lose sight of the big picture, what is the ethos of our marriage, and we strive hard to make it concrete in thoughts, words and actions. For we do believe in making out marriage a sign of God's faithful, unconditional love on earth. As such, making the matrimonial home a place of harmonious warmth and life is paramount.
Certainly we do meet obstacles, situations that call upon inner reserves of selflessness. I do have meltdowns, moments of despairing self-doubt and crippling fear. That's where I pray; and work it all out in, with and through prayer. Impossible is not in our marriage vows, neither is giving up an option. Mother Mary always steps in to lead us to the heart of her son Jesus and we are guided to new places of growth and strength.
When I look back on our journey I am always amazed and driven to my knees in humbled thanksgiving. God has truly been gracious and we are indeed blessed. And I am reminded to pray and work my way forward.
