True love

She said to me you have found true love
So nice, for it is so rare, such a blessing!
It is true, for you are the impossible* 
He made possible in my life.
The hidden treasure* in the field 
I would give my all to have and to hold.
Good thing she told you not to stop
Keep persevering until the woman knows
She is, at last*, bone of your bones,
Flesh of your flesh, one body.
Sometimes, life is like that,
You reap the happiness - true love - you deserve.
Arise*, my love, my godly one, and come away;
for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. 

11 * Inspired by Scripture from Luke 1:38, Matthew 13:44, Genesis 2:23, Song of Songs 2:10-11.

Relinquishing control

Sometimes, things do not turn out according to the way we planned them due to circumstances beyond our control. Sometimes, they may be things that really matter to us. Here is where we are reminded that all things are passing, temporal, and we should hold what's nearest and dearest lightly within the palms of our hands.

Here is where we are also asked, as Pope Francis preached on last Sunday's Gospel (Luke 9:18-24), to place ourselves face to face with Jesus, to figure out who He is to us. This is especially so when things go "wrong" or when we need to come out of ourselves to make sacrifices, choices that are unselfish and do not seem to benefit us directly.

So who is this "Christ of God" to me? Reflecting on this, coming out of the recent chaos I was thrown into last week, struggling to come to terms with the sudden health crisis of someone I love very much, on top of the vastly changing landscape of my life, I still know that Jesus is the one who redeems me through the abundant store of divine love and mercy.

Despite the emotional turmoil I was in, I felt at peace, for I knew He was showing me how much He loved me and those around me, and that He was in control of the storm. As Pope Francis said:  Jesus knows the heart of man as no one else does. That’s why He can heal it, giving it life and consolation.
    
Pope Francis elaborated: The world needs Christ more than ever, needs His salvation, His merciful love. Many people note an emptiness around them and within them; others live in restlessness and insecurity because of precariousness and conflicts. All of us need adequate responses to our existential questions. In Christ, and only in Him, is it possible to find true peace and the fulfillment of every human aspiration.

Knowing who He is to me then begs the question of who I am. If I am to follow Him, then I must deny myself and take up my cross daily. What the Pope calls the cross of one’s duty, of sacrificing oneself for others with love, of willingness to be in solidarity with the poor, of exerting oneself for justice and peace.

The upside to the cross is the Christian paradox which I have personally experienced many a time and that is as the Pope reminds: In 'taking up these attitudes, we must never forget that “whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

Therefore, let us abandon ourselves with confidence in Him, Jesus our brother, friend and savior. Through the Holy Spirit, He will give us the strength to go forward on the path of faith and witness. And on this path, Our Lady is always close: Let us allow Her to take us by the hand when we go through moments of darkness and difficulty.

Painting by Sieger Koder

So as the Hillsong United lyric goes:

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father you are King over the flood

I will be still, know You are God

True identity

Over last weekend I was involved in an outreach for 10 young adults at the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary and it was a blessed retreat. Led by Derek Chong (who always inspires me for he lives out his vocation with such joy), A and I had the privilege of leading the gendered sessions for seven young women on Saturday morning.

The topic I had was Who am I and while preparing for it, I was reminded to reclaim my identity as Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ. I have been able to live out my true identity fairly well these days. However, it is not possible to be completely free of distortions and blockages. That's okay. As long as I keep focusing on Jesus, I will always come home to my true identity for this is what Jesus desires for me. If I desire what he wants, then I will delight in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37).

Every woman's true identity is Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ. The question is whether we all live out our identity as such, meaning we recognize our true dignity as women and demand that we are accorded the rightful respect as women and we, in turn, accord others, especially men, their rightful respect. This entails due recognition of who we are, our feminine genius, and the careful and continued cultivation of our gifts and talents which we then enthusiastically offer to the world in joyful service.

I am woman. I am made for love. I am made for marriage. It does not matter whether I am single or married for I can live out this nuptial spirituality regardless. I like what Megan Twomey wrote:

Whether they are married, living the consecrated religious life, or single, women have a special calling and ability to care for others, to teach them, and to help them to grow.  Women help to birth souls into eternal life, grow disciples, and walk with another toward God. This motherhood does not in any way exclude women from other pursuits, passions, or positions of leadership. A woman's talents do not hinder her ability to mother souls, nor does being a mother prevent her from having a personality or a craft.  Devoting her life to the service of God, whether that plays out in the context of a family or a religious order, does not eliminate her identity as a woman, but enhances it by strengthening her character and purifying her soul.  

We can only accomplish what we are created to do if we do not succumb to the lies that tell us otherwise. I was sharing with the young women that it's hard to ignore what the world tells us on how we should look, talk, and act. The pressure is real, pervasive and insidious. It is hard not to buy into it, especially when as single women, we seem to have a sell by date for marriage. We cannot allow the lies of the world to lead us into compromising ourselves, or our value as women, all the more as women of God.

In staying true to my principles which are founded on Church teaching, I theoretically don't stand a chance in the marriage market, especially since I choose the virtue of sexual purity. But God has seen fit to choose a man for me who reveres Him as much as I do, and the relationship is mutually enriching for Jesus is the lens through which we see each other. Thus we see the gift He sees in each other and we are able to love each other as He loves us. I have never felt so cherished and loved for who I am than during these days of courtship. P affirms my womanhood and strengthens my identity as Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ every single day. So blessed.

I would like to re-post this FB post by Marcus Peter that encourages every woman to stay true to who she is. Keep battling the lies, and maintaining your integrity. It is worth your while:

Dear Woman of God,

You are special. You are precious. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are... A Woman after the heart of my Father.

I am writing to you to let you know this: your struggle is not in vain.

There are so few of you women of God around. The world needs your witness of Love, when all it does is hurt and bleed.

While women across the world have wanton sex, indulge in substance abuse, swear, drink, club and smoke, you are the ones who help them through those hurts. You help bring them the understanding and healing they need in Jesus. You help them see that you don't want to stone them, you want to embrace them; to Love them.

There are young girls across the world who are being fed lies, that they are only beautiful if they dress a certain way, act a certain way or belittle their worth as women. They need you to show them just how wonderful they are and how amazingly Blessed they are meant to be.

My beloved sister, I know it's hard. Few see the true beauty within you and fewer still appreciate you for it. Please know that we, your brothers, do.

On behalf of every man who has ever belittled you, degraded you, disregarded you or broken your heart, I ask you, please forgive us. We are but boys learning to be real men.

You deserve so much more than you realize. And this is because your truest worth is far beyond what mortal eyes will see. Your truest worth is God's Love for you and your Love for Him.

Please know that we are praying for you. We are each hoping for a woman such as you to share the rest of our lives with in Christ. We want to honour and cherish you as you truly deserve. And we would give our lives to preserve the Grace of God in you.

You are not alone. Your wait is not in vain. You are worth Loving, praying for and waiting for.

Please don't ever compromise or settle for anything less. Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised indeed. You are such a woman.

You give us men of God hope - to persevere and hold strong. You do not see many of us, but we are here, and we are here for you.

Some day, God our Father will fulfill all the deepest desires your heart. Until then, we will hold your hand in spirit, walking this road with you - guarding your heart in Him.

Because you are worth it.

We Love you dearly, please be assured of it.

With all our Love in Christ,
Your Brothers,
Men of God

Our Lady's gaze

When I entered the church where La Moreneta, the Black Madonna sits in Monserrat two years ago, I felt someone looking at me as I stood there drinking in the beauty of the interior. Who was looking at me with such intensity in this vast basilica? When I located the gaze, I realized with a shock that it was Our Lady of Monserrat herself. It was such a kairos moment for I remember asking Our Lady what are you asking of me? What does this mean? It is a gaze I have pondered often since. Her photo sits on my bedside table reminding me of that cool September day when she looked at me. I therefore read with delight Pope Francis's recent reflection on Mother Mary's gaze.

Our Lady has been my source of strength and inspiration through the years. She is my hero, my role model as a woman. I sometimes wonder why Catholics are penalized so much for loving her. Surely the mother of Jesus is an extraordinary woman to be admired, as related to us by Saint Luke in his Gospel? The way she lived her entire life, in full obedience, pondering the mysteries and vicissitudes of life and responding always with gentle wisdom is to be imitated.

Mary points us to Jesus, her pride and joy, the child, at once human and divine, who resided in her womb and grew up under her loving guidance, and we fickle and forgetful humans need as many signs and reminders of Jesus and what He did to save us as possible. She also has his ear, as demonstrated by the wedding at Cana, and can intercede on our behalf. My recent devotion to her, through my daily rosary, where I ask for her intercessory help has proven to me how much grace I receive thorough this woman whom Jesus gave to us to be our mother before he expired.

Mother Mary has a special gift of mercy which is empowered through her humility and her free yes to grace. Pope Francis in his reflection to priests* last week calls her the perfect vessel that both receives and bestows mercy. There is much we can learn from her pure and overflowing heart that sees all of history and each individual person with a mother’s mercy.

He talks about the mystery of Mary’s gaze, its tenderness and its sweetness that give us the courage to open our hearts to God’s mercy. I especially like how Pope Francis encourages priests to experience her gaze themselves so that they can, in turn, gaze at people in the same loving, non-judgemental way.

Mary’s gaze makes us feel her maternal embrace. She shows us that “the only power capable of winning human hearts is the tenderness of God. What delights and attracts, humbles and overcomes, opens and unleashes is not the power of instruments or the force of the law, but rather the omnipotent weakness of divine love, which is the irresistible force of its gentleness and the irrevocable pledge of its mercy” (Address to the Mexican Bishops, 13 February 2016). 

For Our Lady can remove every “cataract” that prevents them from seeing Christ in people’s souls. She can remove the myopia that fails to see the needs of others, which are the needs of the incarnate Lord, as well as the hyperopia that cannot see the details, “the small print”, where the truly important things are played out in the life of the Church and of the family.

The Pope goes on to say Mary’s gaze is one of complete attention. I can testify to that for the statue of the Black Madonna was so far from me that she was tiny. And yet, I felt her eyes trained on me. It was only in the enlarged image of a photograph I took that I saw it was she who was looking at me. I had her whole attention and I could pour out my heart to her, my fears, hopes and dreams, both uttered and unuttered.

She leaves everything else behind, and is concerned only with the person in front of her. Like a mother, she is all ears for the child who has something to tell her. Like her, we need to be able to "see into people’s suffering and recognize their needs,"  if not "we will have nothing to offer them. The riches we possess only flow forth when we truly encounter the needs of others, and this encounter take places precisely in our heart.

Pope Francis goes on to talk about Mary’s gaze as “integral”, all-embracing. It brings everything together: our past, our present and our future. It is not fragmented or partial: mercy can see things as a whole and grasp what is most necessary. At Cana, Mary “empathetically” foresaw what the lack of wine in the wedding feast would mean and she asked Jesus to resolve the problem, without anyone noticing. 

Out of mercy, Mary sees beforehand the things we lack and provides for them. If there is any “good wine” present in our lives, it is due not to our own merits but to her “anticipated mercy”. In the Magnificat, she proclaims how the Lord “looked with favour on her loneliness” and “remembered his (covenant of) mercy”, a “mercy shown from generation to generation” to the poor and the downtrodden. For Mary, history is mercy.

We can conclude by praying the Salva Regina. The words of this prayer are vibrant with the mystery of the Magnificat. Mary is the Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope. Her eyes of mercy are surely the greatest vessel of mercy, for their gaze enables us to drink in that kindness and goodness for which we hunger with a yearning that a look of love alone can satisfy. Her eyes of mercy also enable us to see God’s mercy at work in human history and to find Jesus in the faces of our brothers and sisters. In Mary, we catch a glimpse of the promised land – the Kingdom of mercy established by our Lord – already present in this life beyond the exile into which sin leads us. From her hand and beneath her gaze, we can joyfully proclaim the greatness of the Lord. To Mary we can say: 

My soul sings of you, Lord, for you have looked with favour on the lowliness and humility of your servant. How blessed I am, to have been forgiven. Your mercy, Lord, that you showed to your saints and to all your faithful people, you have also shown to me. I was lost, seeking only myself, in the arrogance of my heart, yet I found no glory. My only glory is that your Mother has embraced me, covered me with her mantle, and drawn me to her heart. I want to be loved as one of your little ones. I want to feed with your bread all those who hunger for you.

May we all continue to meditate on the Immaculate Heart of Mary (a feast we celebrated yesterday) and cultivate such a listening and receptive heart ourselves. As for me, I will continue to gaze at her and learn to reflect her gentle, loving maternal instincts to those around me and bring Jesus, her Son to them.

*  To read the wonderful second meditation of three, go to: http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2016/06/02/pope_francis_second_meditation_for_the_retreat_for_priests/1234296.  Through our baptism we are called to be priests, so the Pope's reflection holds true for us, too.