Remembering August 28

Just today I popped by to say hello.
Eleven years have passed since you've been gone,
We've managed without you; it's been mellow,
Sunshine and blue skies mark our days alone.
Yet in the calm of daily needs I sigh.
I miss you, Dad, why did you leave so soon?
We had barely begun to reach the high
Of a father's love and a daughter's noon.
If there is one thing I could say to you,
It would be that I love you immensely.
I still strive to be a credit to you,
Though unresolved issues may swirl softly.
But what's loosed on earth will be in heaven,
Graces blossom, till we meet in heaven.

Truth in community

There is an unsettling resemblance between Internet trolls and Christians of active faith, we both think we are THE bearers of truth, and therefore claim the right to be obnoxious when speaking our minds, provoking controversy and division within communities.

It is not wrong to seek truth, but at the same time, it should not be a truth that is closed up in illusions, dreams, and ideologies, frightened of reality and sets us apart from others. Instead, as Jean Vanier goes on to elaborate in his book, Becoming human, we must choose to move toward connectedness, for to be human is to remain connected to our humanness and to reality.

We need to accept history as it really is, our history, who we are, and the histories of others and to work, without fear, towards greater openness, greater understanding, and a greater love of others.

I really like what he also wrote about striving to live in truth even though it may mean loneliness and anguish at certain moments: Perhaps this search for truth is a process of letting ourselves be enfolded in truth rather than possessing truth, as if it were an object that we could possess, that we could use against others.

The truth will set us free only if we let it penetrate our hearts and rend the veil that separates head from heart.

Truth should inspire our lives, attitudes and way of living.

The truth of religion and morality shows itself when they liberate us and give us a deep respect and compassion for others.

This week's Gospel readings from Matthew serve as a reminder that truth can sometimes trap us in a web of self-righteous pride where we become like close-minded and rigid Pharisees, who on the outside appear righteous, but inside are filled with hypocrisy and evil-doing (chapter 23).

As Pope Francis addressed those present in Saint Peter's Square today, the "parish"* sin of disunity, caused by envy, jealousy and antipathy, happens when we seek the first places, when we put ourselves at the center, with our personal ambitions and our ways of seeing things, and we judge others; when we look at the defects of our brothers instead of their gifts, when we give more weight to what divides that to what brings us together.

He went on to say: In a Christian community, division is one of the gravest sins, because it renders it not the work of God but a sign of the devil, who by definition is he who separates, who ruins relations, who insinuates prejudices. Instead, God wants us to grow in the capacity to accept, forgive and love one another, to be ever more like Him who is communion and love. Herein lies the holiness of the Church: in recognizing herself as the image of God, filled with His mercy and His grace. 

Pope Francis encourages all of us, especially those in community with this conclusion:
Dear friends, let us have these words of Jesus resound in our heart: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). Let us ask sincerely for forgiveness for all the times we have been the occasion of division or incomprehension within our communities, knowing well that communion is not attained except through constant conversion. And let us pray that the daily fabric of our relations can become an ever more beautiful and joyful reflection of the relation between Jesus and the Father.

As we enfold ourselves more and more in Christ's liberating truth, let us not forget that we should participate in our communities with love, respect and compassion, and keep our troll-like tendencies under lock and key, together with our hubris.

* Pope Francis points out that each parish should be a place of sharing and communion, having one heart and one soul.

Becoming who I am

It has been a very challenging season these past six months. Not only for me, but for the people around me, people I know and some I love. For it has been a season of great change, mostly of loss, be it loss of health, loss of financial security, loss of equilibrium, loss of family unity or loss of a loved one.

It has made for emotionally charged moments, deep grief, agonizing pain, great stress and dark, rainy days, some of it my own, some of it in felt empathy with others.

Through all this I have been asking how is life questioning me?  What do challenges tell me about myself in the way I react to them? How do I see myself? And, how do I see God in the ensuing chaos and drama?

Attending the retreat, Who am I?, with Bea and Derek Chong last weekend, I was reminded again of how self-awareness is key to leading my life unbowed by difficulties, unafraid to continue dreaming, then going forward boldly to attain my dreams.

What alters the way I dream and perceive life (I am still more negative than positive, drats) are blockages such as apathy, guilt, failure, self-hatred, self-pity, insecurity, inferiority, depression and sadness, these prevent me from maximizing my own potential, from being great.

I can lose track of who I am and what I really want out of life. I can also shrink from making myself known to others, for fear of being judged and found lacking, and ultimately rejected.

Therefore I can shy away from connecting with others, isolating myself, and often end up believing the distortions and lies my fears spin, until I get lost in a web of shame and self-hatred that imprisons and suffocates me.

It is all too easy to get sucked down into a whirlpool of negativity when strong winds shake the foundations of my being and I no longer see God as the loving Father I know He is, and I fail to see myself as He sees me, beloved.

Derek shared a way* that we can use to overcome our own blockages, especially when things are not all hunky-dory:

1) Examine an event that has happened recently and identify the emotion(s) that arose from this. How do you feel?

2) In the case of an undesired event and negative feelings, look for a similar event that may have happened in your past. Who was God to you then and has this event dictated how you behave now?

3) If necessary, give yourself space to grieve and question God. Let Him enter into that situation and bring healing. Who is God to you now? How do you feel? Do you know it is not real if you experience a God who is not loving, caring, merciful and compassionate?

4) Who are you to God? What would God say to you? What is the truth of who you are that God is dying to reveal to you, just as Jesus died to share this truth?

5) Take all this into prayer, thanking God in your own way. Take time to celebrate your insights.

6) It is also good to record your insights in a journal, and share your revelations with people you trust. When you share your struggles, you realize that they are not as big as you thought they were and this injects needed perspective.

Fundamentally, we all want to be known to others. This validates us in a very profound manner for God Himself, whom we are made in the image and likeness of, wants to be known to us. Every day He waits for us to get to know Him more and in so doing, to know ourselves more as well.

I cannot change my history, the circumstances of my life and the wrong choices I have made. I cannot prevent change, loss or suffering from touching my life, nor should I, for life will be fluid and even messy when I choose to participate fully in it, this includes immersing myself in the lives of the people around me, and in the causes that speak to my heart.

Loss is part of life and the more I engage with others, the higher the probability and frequency of loss. This may mean more tears and more pain, commiserating with others and getting directly involved in their lives, but I will not desist.

As I discovered last weekend, this need to see others happy and healthy, assisting them to become the best that they can be, is part of who I am, and I believe, part of who we all are as human beings.

* Using this to identify good things in our lives and how we feel helps us connect with God and concretize His goodness in our lives. It helps us give thanks appropriately - always a good thing.

Making dreams come true

Ever since I was a young girl, I have been in love with language. Words fascinate me. I love reading for books open up new, exciting worlds. Despite being introspective and introverted, connecting with people is equally life-giving, especially if I can help them feel better about themselves, assist them in gaining new insights about themselves or their lives.

Although I have a fair idea of what my natural talents and abilities are, and the ones that have been passed down to me through my parents and grandparents, attending Jumpstart led by Derek Chong, set off many new light bulbs. God's revelations to me began as far back as I can remember, if I but reflect on what He was revealing to me then.

It has been a transformational weekend for me for not only have I rediscovered truths about myself, Jumpstart has helped me put things into sharper focus. While I am living my dreams right now, Derek encouraged me to dream greatly, to go beyond what I am presently doing.

What if there are no limits or obstacles to your dreams? What if failure was no deterrent? I quickly realized I had set limits on my dreams in the last 25 years. I had therefore shelved the dreams of my youth for I thought them unattainable. They have since received a new lease on life.

Derek reminded all of us that God always has a good plan for each of us, but the question is whether we realize or recognize this truth? God wants us to dream the impossible dream or plan for it was put there by Him. Derek also reminded us that if we get to know God and ourselves, then we will love and trust Him, and in so doing, we will want to serve Him by bringing that impossible dream to fruition.

As I worked to come up with my personal mission and vision, set goals and objectives as well as fill in a list of things to do in the next two weeks, I realized the importance of planning and making concrete steps.

Planning has never been my strong suit, as my DiSC results will tell you, but if I believe in God's plan for me, then I must, and can make it happen. I will keep reviewing my game plan and I will keep goal setting every six months to fine-tune the plan and make sure I am still on the right track. 

Exciting times lie ahead as I continue to allow my dreams to breathe and grow, and hopefully, like Derek, I am going to die great.

NB Derek is also a life coach and runs a bunch of other great workshops and seminars. You can get in touch with him to find out more: derek@livethecallcoaching.com

Sexy symbols

August began in an awesome way. I witnessed the joyous wedding celebration of A, a former W2W sister, as well as the uplifting baptism of baby I, the latest addition to the Singapore community of ICPE Mission Companions.

During the baptismal mass, Father Tony spoke of symbols and how they communicated the profundity and gravity of special occasions and milestones, when words were simply inadequate.

Being a visual person I enjoy the bouquet and complexity of symbols. The exchange of gold rings at the wedding of A and J where they articulated what wearing the ring meant: avowed love and fidelity sealed in the sanctity of the Trinity.

For baby I, the water of baptism symbolized a life-giving cleansing that transformed him into a new creation (with the wearing of the white garment). The lighted candle he received represents the light of the resurrected Christ in his life.

He was also anointed with oil which represents healing and strength, along with joy and thanksgiving, for Christ now resides in him and he therefore inherits Christ's three-fold office of priest, prophet and king.

The symbols found in the other sacraments, plus those that adorn a church's walls, hold a wealth of meaning and power that we often trivialize due to familiarity.

G recently shared what seven-year-old H said after visiting one too many churches in Europe that typifies our response to symbols we are so exposed to that we barely award them a cursory glance: I am a bit over this Jesus guy.

In contrast, H was quite upset when he first saw a crucifix about a year ago and asked many questions about why Jesus was persecuted and nailed to the cross to die.

H's Jesus guy response is my response very frequently, if I stop to think about it, especially when I breeze through my prayers just so I have recited them, or when I behave like a thug who takes what she likes with no regard for others.

The crucifix* is one of the Church's most profound symbols and sacramentals. It is found in every Catholic church, on every rosary, and often, around peoples' necks.

Do I pause and give proper thanks whenever I see a crucifix, for the sacrifice Christ made for me and for the whole world? He died an excruciating death because He loves me and deems me worthy of affection. Do I honour His abounding, abiding love, or am I the one who drives the nails deeper into His extremities?

Father Tony also reminded all of us present of the charisms of the ICPE Mission: evangelization, worship and covenant. How is this lived out in our lives?

Do we each reflect a spirituality of worship that reverences the presence of God in each other? Are we mindful of our covenant and faithful? Do we evangelize with every thought, word and action to everyone we meet?

Today's Feast of the Transfiguration describes what happens to Jesus on the mountain top:

And he was transfigured before them;
his face shone like the sun
and his clothes became white as light.

When I meet the Lord in prayer, it should be a mini transfiguration. Spending time with Him should transform me so much that my face shines with joy and peace and I am pure as driven snow in heart and action. Does my prayer life transfigure me? Not always, unfortunately.

I am inspired to redouble my efforts at prayer, as I am inspired to reflect more on the symbols of my Catholic faith, allowing these profound truths to permeate my being and my soul.

Perhaps then my word and actions, my life, will be an alluring symbol of Christian love that attracts all with its beauty, drawing them to Jesus.

* On August 18, during our study on the Gospel of John, Monsignor Vaz shared the reason why we venerate the crucified Christ figure most beautifully. The crucifix is the highest expression of love and it is the means through which Christ triumphed. It is the hour of glory that exemplifies John 15:13: Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. The crucifix conveys most powerfully what an empty cross cannot, that it is through the death and love of Jesus Christ that we have been redeemed. It also reminds us to expect no less for ourselves, that is to be crucified, if we love Him in return and follow Him.

Working towards peace

July was an extraordinarily busy month, filled with good and bad: I had loads of family face time with relatives living abroad and had especial fun with the kiddies; but I also experienced great frustration in the workplace. It, however, pales in light of what has happened around the world.

The MH17 plane crash in Ukraine caused by a missile firing it down was hideous, as was the brutal persecution and eviction of Christians in Iraq followed by the wanton destruction of historic monuments. The incessant fighting going on in Gaza; the bombing which has claimed the many lives of mostly children is equally unforgivable.

All this senseless killing of civilians whose only crime was to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. How is it that in the name of territorial power, we humans can justify the slaughter of innocent people? Worse yet, when we drag God into the fight, claiming we are doing all this in His name.

We conveniently forget that life is sacred and that no religion teaches violence and killing as a permissible or righteous means to an end. It's insanely delusional to think otherwise.

Christian, Jew, Muslim, if we profess that God is the centre of our lives, how then can we kill, destroy or condone what is happening right now in our midst? No one is right when a life is taken. Everyone is wrong when an act is death dealing.

What are we teaching our children? That you should hate someone just because they are different, because they see God differently? Did God not create each of us different and unique? Therefore we are teaching our children to hate their own brother and sister. This is the biggest distortion of God's truth.

Jesus came so that we all may have life; He came to end divisions between Jew and Gentile. He came to teach us a new commandment: love one another as I have loved you.

It's all about love because God is love and if we love God, we must love our neighbour, even the stranger who just moved into the neighbourhood who looks, acts and talks funny.

In an interview with Argentine weekly Viva, published July 27, Pope Francis shared 10 tips for bringing joy, happiness, into life, they are, in brief:

1. Live and let live.

2. Be giving of yourself to others. 

3. Proceed calmly; to have the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life.

4. To have a healthy sense of leisure.

5. Sundays should be holidays.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people.

7. Respect and take care of nature.

8. Stop being negative.

9. Don't proselytize; respect others' beliefs.

10. Work for peace.

We cannot like everyone we meet. We will have deep and wide disagreements, diametrically opposing views from others. We will hurt others as others will hurt us, sometimes even with malicious intent. Through all this, we must work toward some sort of unity in diversity for we all live on one earth, in one world.

Let's not forget that every time someone is killed, a void in the universe is created, an irreparable one. No one deserves to die before his or her time, especially a child whose potentiality has not been given time to mature.

All life is sacred. Let's recognize this and work towards maintaining the sanctity of life by stopping the killing. Work for peace.

NB Father Ronald Rolheiser posted an article on August 18 that articulates the Pope's 10 tips better. Have a read: http://ronrolheiser.com/en/#.U_U-lH8ayK0