Living out Easter

I find the Eastertide readings difficult. Although they speak of burgeoning faith among individuals and communities, as well as miracle upon miracle, there is great persecution and many new believers are put to death for their faith in the resurrected Lord.

And yet, despite the grimness of the readings, they speak of joy even in the face of death: the joy of an intimate encounter with Christ, the grace of living and moving in the Spirit, and the hope of eternal life that sustains us in the midst of suffering.

The shock waves from the two bombs that went off during the Boston Marathon almost two weeks ago are still reverberating around the world. As I grieve for those wounded so heinously by the two pressure cooker bombs that exploded metal pellets and nails into the surrounding crowd killing and permanently maiming them, I also pray that this act of hatred does not ripple into hate crimes and acts of retaliation against family members of the bombers, and people of who share their ethnicity, culture or religion.

Instead of allowing anger to destroy or divide us, we must construct a new way of life, one that recognizes our shared humanity and breaks downs fences of prejudice and fear in order for us to dialogue and find a common ground where we can share our collective lives.

Violence on the scale of the Boston Marathon bombings hurts not just those who were present, friends and families of those injured or killed, the friends, family and community of the Tsarnaev brothers, but it is a hurt perpetrated against the city of Boston, the North American continent and indeed, the whole world.

Such violence changes all of us. We become more fearful, more inward looking, and more mistrustful, judgemental against people who are different, not like us. Hatred has just received a huge power boost, keeping it alive in the world. This is a grievous crime against humanity.

The only way forward is to live out the Easter message of forgiveness as lived out by Christ's early disciples (much like Stephen who forgave those who were stoning him to death). To combat hate, we each need to be messengers of transformation through peaceful and loving means.

Instead of merely hunting down the roots of dissidence and eradicating them, we need to seek ways to ensure every young person on the planet grows up with a sound moral compass to guide him or her through life. The surviving suspect is just 19, we need to ask ourselves what motivates a 19 year old to commit such horrific violence?

We need to reach out to our youth, the marginalized, the disenfranchised and the abused, and look for ways to integrate them into society, to hear and acknowledge them, giving dignity to them.

What about our children? Born and unborn, they are the most vulnerable and the greatest at risk group, victims of adult selfishness, perversion and neglect. Abortions born out of irresponsibility. Online child predators, molesters and rapists (of five year olds no less, truly abominable). Parents who exploit their own children, objectifying them for selfish purposes (think child beauty pageants).

Do we care if our children, our youth, know the difference between right and wrong? Do we worry that they are so filled with hurt, anger, hate or indifference, not knowing how to love, how to be kind and generous?

We should, for they will be running the world one day when we are old and feeble. If we wish to leave behind a worthwhile legacy for our children, we must invest in their emotional and spiritual welfare. We must help them become men and women of integrity and hope.

Every adult needs to teach every child we meet the virtues of honour, honesty, generosity, diligence, patience, tolerance, compassion, courage, self-control and humility. We need to give them faith and hope in humanity by teaching them to be fully human, to love one another as Christ has loved us as it preaches in today's Gospel passage.

We can each start, leading by example. Be more patient with people who are old, slow or seemingly stupid.

Be more forgiving of those who are brusquely rude, insult or wrong you, and just generally push all the wrong buttons.

Be more empathetic towards those you dislike and even find hateful. 

Be more hospitable to strangers. 

Be more giving, kind and compassionate to those who need understanding or help.

Be more honest in your dealings with others instead of only seeking to score one for the home team.   

Going one step further, do you take the Gospel message of service seriously, even when you know you are going to be repaid poorly, ridiculed and even discriminated against? Or do you hug all that you have been given, focusing instead on building your own little stronghold of like-minded clones?

Every human being deserves to be loved and accepted, to be able to grow in freedom to be the man and woman he or she was created to be. When circumstances do not foster loving affirmation, when families are fragmented and no longer safe, nurturing and enlightening environments for youth to develop, we are all in danger of becoming narcissistic, voracious takers who thrive on malice, darkness and lust.

We become less and less human in our self-imposed isolation as we live in worlds of alternative realities. Without moral bearings, we easily become bombers, serial killers, Sandy Hook-like shooters who mow down the most innocent of beings.

As we approach the end of the Easter season, we are reminded that this world we live in can be a new creation, one as intended by God, despite the darkness that surrounds us.

So even if we are persecuted for living out what we believe to be true, good and beautiful as Christians, we should still forge ahead for Christ is always with us, and the promise of a new heaven and a new earth is ours.

And even if the world clamours for blood to bring about justice, we must ask for a different manner of justice, one that tempers it with mercy and love.

Let us cultivate the spiritual gifts that have been given to us in baptism and confirmation and be more apostolic, prophetic, evangelistic so that we can bring to world healing, mercy, wisdom, knowledge, encouragement, faith, and most of all, miracles.

Good has triumphed over evil in the miracle of Christ's resurrection, thus good can triumph over evils such as the Boston Marathon bombing.

Let us each make it our duty to effect miracles that celebrate the Easter spirit. 

Live Easter. 

Joining the race

I had lunch with D yesterday and we were talking about whether it was better to be a disciple of Christ earlier or later in life.

She shared that making the decision to follow Jesus early on in life was tough. Keeping the faith was no easy thing and as Paul exhorts in Timothy, it is a race, a marathon, we are running. We may flag but we cannot stop running this good race, arduous and excruciating as it may become at certain segments of the run.

I completely agree with her about discipleship being a touch calling. It does get exhausting, being good, doing the right and better thing all the time, especially when we are surrounded by people who do not, and we have to defend our choices at times.

If only we can play hooky on certain days and be "normal", even though the state of normal may not exactly be the best or most judicious choice. In theory, playing hooky looks attractive but in practice, I am always left feeling a little empty while doing the right thing always makes me feel better even if it was a fight getting there

So here is where life-giving communities, constant prayer and receiving the Sacraments regularly are vital.

The sense of belonging and camaraderie in our communities help us realize that we are not alone in our struggles, and that we have a pool of cheerleaders to give us moral support and help us grow in our spiritual walk.

Together with the supernatural support we avail ourselves of, the race becomes one that is not only endorphin driven and pleasurable, but it also makes us stronger.

Some people think that it is better to delay coming back to God. That one should enjoy the pleasures of the world before one makes that deathbed choice to say please forgive me now because I want to come back to you and therefore get to experience eternal life, a have your cake and eat it situation. They could not be further from the truth.

Apart from the fact they may not get a chance to make that last minute decision, the longer and further they stay away from God, the more they allow sin to permeate their lives.

No one starts out willing to be bad, and as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You may think you can change at will, but after a while, your will is no longer yours to command and worse, you may no longer be able to differentiate between good and bad choices as time goes by.

I actually bemoan the fact that I began the race much later in life and that I had wasted so many years before I got to know Jesus and love Him in a way that has changed my life radically.

All those years seeking for love and happiness when it was within my reach at all times, if I had but taken hold of the Lord's outstretched hand. All those years of misguided efforts that brought so much pain and deep loneliness.

Yes, as D pointed out, living a life made up of hedonistic choices, had its moments of immense pleasure and joy, but it also involved furloughs in massive depression and bouts of low self-worth.

There was an emptiness within that nothing could fill: partying, drinking and lust-driven activities were but quick fixes that left you craving for more.

Freedom is gone when one is a slave to one's addictions and the dictates of one's restless and fearful heart.

Thus I am very grateful and glad to be a follower of Christ, albeit a late one, for I would not exchange the peace I have since discovered and claimed for anything in the world. I know who I am and there is a sense of clear purpose to my life that centres me and makes my life achingly beautiful.

I choose God and His ways for being good feels really good. Plus, I enjoy the moral simplicity and freedom I have, and an inner tranquillity that even bad times cannot destroy. Best of all, I feel much loved, every single day.

No, life is not perfect, there are moments of great struggle still, but the good outweighs the bad. And when I get discouraged, I know that if I keep my eyes on Him, all will be well. As Azariah prayed in the furnace (in the book of Daniel):

Bring to fruition the quest of those who follow you,
for those who trust in you can never be confounded.
And now we follow you with all our heart
and we revere you and seek your face.

And this is how we finish the race, whether we join in early or late.

Divine Mercy

It was a lovely surprise, albeit slightly daunting (I was on lector duty), this morning when the Coadjutor Archbishop Monsignor William Goh dropped by to celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday with the parishioners of Saint Teresa.

In his characteristic fiery style he gave us a homily that challenged us to be more faithful by being more merciful. He commented that many of us do not experience God's mercy, not because God is not merciful, but because we lack faith.

Whenever disaster strikes and we seek miracles, we tend to seek out alternatives before we finally turn to God, usually as a last resort. He sees this as the mark of the individualistic Christian, one who prizes independence, instead of one who in humility knows he or she is only a part of the body of Christ, who is the head.

Our Coadjutor Archbishop then reminded us that Satan loves the individual Christian for it is easy to go after him or her, rather than a community who is not so susceptible to his lies.

Monsignor Goh also stressed the healing power of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, for it is here that we can truly experience the Lord's Divine Mercy. Something most of us do not avail ourselves of often enough.

When I was younger I used to think it was quite pointless to confess my laundry list of sins, receive absolution, then repeat my sins again. Why bother going for Confession since I was going to sin again? I did not want to be a hypocritical Christian so I did not go regularly.

I, of course, had a very immature understanding of what the Sacrament was all about. And it is also the pride thing that makes it uncomfortable for me to confess my sins and shortcomings. (It is still not easy...)

Then I committed mortal sin, and because I was not ready to stop, I stayed away not just from Reconciliation, but from receiving the Sacrament of the Eucharist for a protracted period. Those were truly dark years.

It was only when I finally rejected and confessed my sins that I allowed myself to experience the healing love of His Divine Mercy. That was my point of conversion. My resurrection from the dead.

In this personal experience of hesed which is Hebrew for a love that endures beyond sin and betrayal, space and time, that is healing and forgiving like a mother's unconditional love for her child, I fell in love with Jesus. He was my knight in shining armour, The One who believed in me and loved me for who and what I am.

Now in this covenantal relationship with Jesus, my heart desires only more of this undeserved love, thus making it easier for me to refrain from sin. I will never stop sinning for it's just not humanly possible, but there is always the divine grace of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Pope John Paul II who canonized Sister Maria Faustina Kowalska and designated the Sunday after Easter as the Feast of the Divine Mercy in 2000 said, "There is nothing more man needs than Divine Mercy – that love which is benevolent, which is compassionate, which raises man above his weakness to the infinite heights to the holiness of God."

JPII also called Divine Mercy the Easter gift that the Church receives from the risen Christ and offers to humanity.

Thus as Christians, we can and should engage in works of mercy such as:

Corporal Works         Feed the hungry Give drink to the   thirsty Clothe the naked Shelter the homeless Comfort the prisoners Visit the sick Bury the dead

Spiritual Works Teach the ignorant Pray for the living & dead Correct sinners Counsel those in doubt Console the sorrowful Bear wrongs patiently Forgive wrongs willingly

 
Mercy is what our fragmented, disenfranchised and broken world needs, and mercy is what we can give. As Monsignor William Goh reminded us in his closing, if we are not compassionate, forgiving and merciful, then we have not truly experienced Divine Mercy.

Desert blooms

Do you ever feel that whatever you do in life is not good enough, or that you are not as good as you wish to be, be it abilities, capabilities, accomplishments, intelligence, social aptitude or spiritual maturity?

I just came home from an afternoon in the CGS (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd) atrium where I felt defeated by a bunch of three to six year olds. I was not patient enough. I did not give enough Montessorian freedom. I did not handle a situation well as in I ended up taking on an authoritarian role, bringing forth high aggression. I felt like a complete failure (my only grace is I kept my cool and kept praying for wisdom to know what to do in a rapidly deteriorating situation even as we eyeballed each other).

I am so glad we are in Easter for the message of the season helps me move on. Resurrection. New life. I so need that, especially after this afternoon.

As Pope Francis put it in his Easter blessing, His first Urbi et Orbi, that Jesus is risen "means that the love of God is stronger than evil and death itself; it means that the love of God can transform our lives and let those desert places in our hearts bloom."

Resurrection implies that "Jesus did not return to his former life, to earthly life, but entered into the glorious life of God and he entered there with our humanity, opening us to a future of hope." I definitely hope that I do better in the near future for throwing in the towel is not an option even as I feel much like it.

I must remember that "the power of the Resurrection, this passover from slavery to evil to the freedom of goodness, must be accomplished in every age, in our concrete existence, in our everyday lives. How many deserts, even today, do human beings need to cross!"

The deserts, as Pope Francis goes on to identify, are the deserts within: "...when we have no love for God or neighbour, when we fail to realize that we are guardians of all that the Creator has given us and continues to give us. God’s mercy can make even the driest land become a garden, can restore life to dry bones (cf. Ez 37:1-14)."

Thus, the way I can accept the grace of Christ’s Resurrection fully in my life, in the Pope's words, is to be renewed by God’s mercy and to be loved by Jesus, allowing the power of his love to transform my life so that I can become an agent of this mercy and a channel through which God can water the earth, protect all creation and make justice and peace flourish.

Can my desert places bloom? Yes, if I believe in Jesus, His resurrection, the whole Easter story, then I can also spiritually resurrect from my failures, my low self-worth and lack of confidence, and keep moving forward.

For as Robert Frost wrote:

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,     
And miles to go before I sleep.

 

Intimate. Deep. Passionate.

There is something to be said for attending the Good Friday Passion service in Mandarin. As I understood maybe 40 per cent of what was said, I had to be extremely attentive to follow what was going on, which I could, for I was familiar with the Passion reading. And because I was so focused on the proceedings, it became more real for me than it usually is. What made it special as well was that it was sung in Mandarin quite beautifully.

On Easter morning itself, I literally felt a thrill of joy as I sang the first Alleluia (at an English-speaking mass celebrated by Monsignor Paul Russell). I could really rejoice that Jesus died and rose again, conquering the death of sin so that I can be part of God's eternal plan of salvation.

I was joyful that He has given me and my brothers, the incredible gift of my mother. I was glad that my parents have given the four of us the prize of their faith and that we were all in God's house together as a family, giving thanks for my mother on her 80th birthday (Dad would have been ecstatic if he were around).

The movement from physical as well as spiritual, emotional and psychological darkness to light in John's Gospel is experienced profoundly by the three protagonists. Monsignor Russell invited each of us to see who we were, of the three people standing at the empty tomb.

Was our faith at the level where we loved Jesus so intimately, deeply and passionately that we could believe the impossible more easily and quickly? Did we allow ourselves to die to self and our human beliefs and thus be able to walk forward in buoyant hope and joy?

While I profess to love Him in an intimate, deep and passionate way, I often fall prey to believing my way is best and I forge ahead instead of letting Him take charge. The fear of the murky unknown makes me struggle instead of submitting the future into His hands. 

When I finally submit my fears and my ego, and rely on Him completely, He never fails to respond in ways that are astounding and outstanding. I then ask myself why I worried and fussed so much for He always comes through in aces.

This trip to Taipei was one such example. More than usual, I wanted things to be perfect, for my Mum, thus I was beset with many fears and what ifs. So when I hit roadblocks, I would initially dig in my heels in stiff outrage. It was good that I continually offered this trip up to Him for I knew it could only be perfect if He was in charge. And it was. Perfect.

Everything came together like clockwork. The apartment was perfectly located - near restaurants, shops, and most importantly, Holy Family Church (how cool is that?). We got around like a dream because my sister-in-law is proficient in Mandarin and my eldest bro is like a human GPS.

We met many people who were friendly, helpful and just so hospitable. It was a little drizzly but pleasantly cool and the rain did not deter us from enjoying Taipei much. We managed to find good food, although we all need to detox for a week for we ate way too much cholesterol-laden food.

Best of all, it's been great coming together as a family and spending time doing stuff as one cohesive unit. Mum really enjoyed having all of us chatting and laughing together, as did I.

We four are "the manifestations of my parents' love" as my father was fond of reminding us. This time, it was she who reminded us that we must stick together in love, as my father used to exhort us through those years of growing up.

While we may argue and have our differences (we each have a very distinctive point of view), I hope my brothers know how much I love them, and that I would do anything for them. For having experienced the selfless and generous love of Jesus in my life, and having a living and breathing relationship with Him makes me want to share this love with everyone in my life, especially my loved ones. My family.  

May your Easter be as special as mine has been and may we all continue to luxuriate in the glory of this Easter season in our individual lives as we gaze at Jesus with the intimacy, depth and passion of love.