Call to holiness

Why is holiness or sanctity seen as the purview of religious leaders, priests, monks and nuns? As A. reminded us last Friday, we are ALL called to holiness.

Most people confuse holiness with religiosity and perceive holiness as living according to a strict or extreme moral religious code. Not for regular human beings, and certainly not fun, or fun to be around.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We are all created with a spark of the divine in each of us and Jesus is constantly calling us to connect with Him, whether it be communion through prayer or by calling forth an innate impulse of love and expressing it in the world.

Humans are fundamentally good with the need for truth and beauty engineered into our DNA.

As children we each have a sense of God, a natural sense of the sacred, of awe and wonder, which unfortunately diminishes as we get older.

Part of the reason is due to familiarity - remember the first time you saw a rainbow and measure the levels of awe and excitement you felt that first time with the last time you saw a rainbow (or maybe you didn't even see the rainbow in the sky for you were too busy looking at the road or your iPhone screen).

Part of it is the relentless human need to search for answers and explain away the natural world with science and technology, thereby demystifying the magic of the Creator's artistry.
 
Mostly it is due to a broken and distorted view of the world that comes from human experiences tainted with anger, hate, injustice, prejudice and lies.

A lost sense of the sacred, of what is holy in life, is replaced by fear, cynicism, despair and superstitious beliefs. Also by the pursuit of worldly pleasures that offer an all too fleeting and superficial satiation, leading to addictive/compulsive behaviour.

When I had a very limited and distorted vision of self and God, I believed in a distant, unloving God who punished wrongdoers and I felt I was beyond redemption, riddled with sin and doomed always to failure.

It was only with restored self-worth and a more incisive view of the Trinity that I was able to revive my sense of sacred. To find God in all things and see His hand in my life has given me a renewed sense of wonder.

Like a child I find life fascinating again: There are new discoveries every day. Miracles to behold. Much to be grateful for, to laugh over, every day.

This incites me to want to know more and more about Him, to spend time with Him and get to know Him better, and ultimately, to want to be more like Him.

This is the call to holiness.

Not to be some prudish, sour, Goody Two-Shoes who follows the rules out of fear, but to be someone who recognizes and acknowledges this embedded desire for holiness, for God, and seeks Him out actively.

It's an awesome experience so do say yes.

Loving rules

I love rules! I like how they serve as a guide and a reminder, and how they simplify life and even serve to protect me.

Like how traffic rules minimize road accidents and fatalities; laws promote order, peace and personal safety; and church rules uphold the inviolable dignity of the individual from conception until natural death and champion social justice.   

Sometimes there may be rules I do not understand, but I still defer to the wisdom of those who have elucidated, endorsed or upheld the rules and comply.

However, I continue to question and seek for answers in order to comprehend the spirit behind the rules for I think that following rules blindly is dangerous; like a car wreck just waiting to happen.

Therefore I have a responsibility to cultivate a "faith-seeking understanding" to illuminate my way and bring unity in my relationship with my Creator.

Although the moral teaching of the Church seems rigid and irrelevant at first read, especially in light of casual and capriciously frangible relationships that seem to be the norm, in taking the trouble to understand how each teaching came into existence and why, has allowed me to experience a reality of Catholicism that points me towards a meaningful, joyful and fulfilling existence.

The decision not to be a Buffet or Cafeteria Catholic, one who picks and chooses aspects of the faith to follow, left me with just one option: to embrace my faith fully.

To trust that the members of the Magisterium, the teaching authority of the Church, are as divine inspired as the men who wrote and transcribed all the books in the Bible. And at the same time, to try to make sense of the rules and make them mine. 

Given the tensions of adhering to a code that is at odds with a sexually liberal, relativistic world, it is not a popular option, but the more I stick to it, the more my faith has been repaid, with deeper insight and understanding. Even if it sometimes takes years. 

Obedience is a word most adults associate with children and one which they think they outgrow when a state of independence is attained, forgetting that obedience is a virtue that leads to inner freedom. This is the Christian paradox - and one that I have tested in recent years and found worthy of notice.

Children obey their loving parents out of love for they know their parents have only their best interests at heart. So do I trust in God's love for me (I KNOW He loves me very much) or do I, like Eve, believe the suggestion of the serpent who insinuates that my Father and His love for me are not to be trusted? 

If I love and trust Him, do I love and trust Him in all things, all the time? Does my behaviour reflect my beliefs and attitudes consistently?

My fickleness and forgetfulness let me down at times, so I am glad God never gives up on me.

And when I find rules tedious and unrewarding, I remind myself that at the very crux of every one of my Father's rules is love: an invitation to a culture of life that is rich beyond imagination, a benediction of my unique and inviolable dignity as woman, and an ode to the miracle and glory of creation.

Hortus Inclusus (The Interior Garden by John & Michael Cullen)

Good life

When someone passes away at a ripe old age, people usually say, he/she led a good and fulfilling life, especially if they were financially comfortable and enjoyed the finer things in life.

Auntie F., my Mum's cousin, who passed away last Saturday did live a good life in that respect, but more than that, she was a kind, thoughtful and generous woman who touched the lives of many people.

It is not uncommon to judge how well a person lived by a person's accomplishments, status in life, financial success or the number of places that person visited. I'd like to think a good life is measured by more than just these standards.

Certainly how much pleasure one derives from life is a gauge, but that need not come from material things. A simple life can afford as much pleasure.

I just have to look at my mother as an example of someone who enjoys the ordinariness of her life with quiet relish whether she is pottering around her balcony garden, attending a church sing-along or reading the newspaper back to back.

How joyful one is in life, regardless of circumstance is, to my mind, a better measurement of what constitutes a good life.

This inextinguishable joie de vivre is what my mother and her cousins, Auntie F. included, share and I am blessed to be able to bask in the conviviality of their meetings occasionally to take notes and learn.

More important than how much pleasure one receives is how much pleasure does one give in life? Do we feed the hungry, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, visit the sick and those in prison?*

I can't say I knew Auntie F. very well but what little I knew of her, I could see that she was someone who had the gift of hospitality and she put it to good use at every opportunity. She was sensitive to people's needs and acted accordingly to provide generously with no thought of return.

God bless you Auntie F. and may you dwell among the upright in eternal life.

As for me, I hope to emulate her joyfulness, kindness and gift of hospitality, and to live a good life every day.

*See parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 35:31-46

Need to pray

Last Friday my Woman to Woman Ministry gathered to explore different forms of prayer and the topic this meeting was spiritual journalling and why it is so important if we are intent on deepening our faith walk (we have already covered praise & worship, lectio divina and Ignatian contemplation).

I view journalling as my opportunity to compose spiritual snapshots that I can go back and review, re-living my experiences in a deep and insightful way for they tell me where I have been on my journey, whether consolation, desolation or revelation, and where I might be heading.

God's timing is impeccable for in deciding what passage of Scripture to meditate on for Friday, I chose today's gospel from Luke 18:1-8 where Jesus relates the parable of the persistent widow to teach us of the "need to pray continually and never lose heart".

I have lost heart recently and as Fr. Ron Rolheiser pointed out in his October 10th column, Maturity in Relationships and Prayer*, prayer is "easy only for beginners and for those who are already saints".

For the rest of us who have been journeying for a while now, we are like people in a mature relationship, where the initial blush of love has worn off and disillusionment sets in.

But here is where we must remain faithful to our commitments, our practices and rituals of life and "show up" especially when we don't feel like it.

Here is where prayer truly is an act of faith.

Here is where we must make the choice: to continue believing and praying like the widow (who had three strikes against her being a woman who didn't have rights, a widow who had no advocate to fight for her legal rights and an unjust judge who refused to give her "her just rights") or to let life and people disillusion us to the point where we begin to walk away from God.

The advice given by a Jesuit priest to Fr. Rolheiser's friend was simple and effective: "Just do it! Show up and sit in silent prayer for half an hour a day, even if you feel like you are talking to a wall. It's the only practical advice I can give you."

Just as the widow was persistent, so too was Moses, with the help of Aaron and Hur, in assisting Joshua in his battle against the Amalekites through the powerful prayer of holding the staff of God with upraised arms (Exodus 18:8-13).

I have never been more glad that I have my W2W Ministry, to journey with me, to be my Moses, Aaron or Hur, for keeping faith has been a real battle at times and my sisters keep me from losing too much heart or abandoning the fight altogether.

The Holy Spirit's graces are never far from us, especially if we keep to what we "have been taught and know to be true" by actively witnessing to God's Word (2 Timothy 3:14).

In brief: "Put your hope in God and prayer" (Psalm 42).

* http://www.ronrolheiser.com/

Relationship rich

While at dinner last night, M. announced that Kwa Geok Choo aka Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew passed away in the late afternoon.

Since then there has been much reported about the late Mrs. Lee whom I will always remember as the silent figure, dressed simply in a classic cheong sam, by her husband's side.

By all accounts, she was a brilliant woman who carved out a successful career, while being a devoted wife of a politician, loving mother of three and nurturing grandmother of seven.

Theirs was a love story which spanned over 70 years, commencing in their teens, and like the wife in Proverbs 31, Mrs. Lee was an able and willing help meet, sticking by her husband's side through the turbulent years of nation-building, with no need for public approbation or accolades.

"...She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain."

Marriages like what MM and his wife had are an increasingly rare commodity  for couples nowadays are not as willing to sacrifice as much for their spouse and children. And having made the countless sacrifices, merely looked upon them as a fulfillment of marital vows, nothing more, nothing less. For love does not count the costs of love.

I salute the quiet strength of Mrs. Lee and my heart goes out to MM and his family for their grievous loss. Even though she was not fully present in the last two years due to the effects of stroke, I am sure the heart and soul of MM's family departed when Mrs. Lee drew her last breath.

As a woman, I am keenly aware of the responsibility I wield in all my relationships and while I may never match up to the accomplishments of Mrs. Lee, I am encouraged to realize my unique potential in everything I do. 

This means knowing where my destination lies and not letting myself get sidetracked. Having the perseverance to keep going the distance and the humility to acknowledge milestones and accomplishments without placing much premium on them.

To always ask this question of life when I pray: what does it mean for my head, heart and hands, knowing full well that I am called to know, to love and to serve God through others.

Life has no meaning if love is not present and as it is stated in Gaudium et Spes: Man cannot fully find himself "except through a sincere gift of himself".

Mrs. Lee was a woman who understood this and lived out most generously the gift of self in her relationships.

Rest in peace, Mrs. Lee, and may you continue to inspire Asian women to be women of courage, selflessness and great love.