For P

With you I dove deeper, gave more than with any other,
You were the one I chose to live with, happy ever after.
For you made me smile, sharing promises of life
Ruby rich and deliciously golden.
Together we conjured a kaleidoscope of memories
Each more beautiful than the next.
Until you told me you wanted out!
Said I wasn't the one anymore. After all.
That's life. Hurts like hell but I will survive,
There is no option for I will always choose the light.
Even in the blinding madness a voice
Steers me to safety in whispers divined
I am loved too much to give up on myself
Crushed and crumbled though I now lay,
Restoration, resurrection is at the potter's hand.
While surrender isn't easy, I rely solely on grace,
I know I can look forward to the day
I let you go with a smile and no backward glance,
A bounce in my step, my heart filled with gratitude.
For His love is sufficient, with Him I shall not want.

Signs and wonders

I just attended a seminar on "Types of Healing" by Bob Canton over last weekend and was blown away by what I witnessed. Here is a man anointed by God to perform miracles of healing, just as Jesus did when He walked the earth.

Bob shared his story of how he did not think he was worthy of the task he was called to initially but continued to let the Lord lead and is now travelling the world over, making the Gospel come alive by demonstrating Jesus' love, mercy and compassion through healing, telling everyone that the kingdom of God is here and now, bringing glory and honour to God by drawing people to Jesus and salvation.

My takeaway from the weekend is that God uses ordinary people, wounded healers (as Henri Nouwen would call them) to carry out His will. If we are able to avail ourselves of the Holy Spirit that resides in us through our baptism to cultivate a praying, discerning heart, receive the sacraments frequently and develop a listening ear to what God wants, then you and I, we, can perform miracles that bring healing.

We don't have to look for "signs and wonders" (preached by "false prophets") but instead "signs and wonders" will follow us.

As we live in a world where scientific and technological advances have explained away the wonder and awe of God's creations; and look increasingly for external signs of God before we deign to believe, this was refreshing - a challenge to live up to my faith.

Faith is a gift from God and one that is fuelled by an interior life nourished by the discipline of prayer. According to the Gospels, faith heals and makes us whole while St. Paul reminds us to "walk by faith, not by sight".

Despite the miracles I witnessed this weekend, my faith in God is no more or no less than when my life was in shambles and I was caught in a downward spiral of emotional hell.

My faith is not reliant on events or people. It just is.

Through grace, the grace of conversion, a deep inner conviction born of the felt presence of a loving God and the ability to soldier on even when the wells of faith run dry.

The weekend has caused me to wonder about the depth of my faith and how I live it out actively in my daily life.

And I resolve to love more boldly, more richly and more fearlessly for faith without love is nothing*.

* Read 1 Corinthians 13

True to nature

I have been meditating on Sarah (read Genesis 12 onwards) this week for she will be the woman we will discuss tomorrow evening at the W2W Ministry weekly meeting (we are covering women in the Bible).

It's quite amazing to me that at age 65, she willingly embarked on an arduous and dangerous journey with her husband Abraham into an unknown land, later gave her husband permission to have a child with another woman because she thought she herself was incapable of the task and has her husband's ear in a way that suggests he loves and respects her as an equal.

Both Sarah and Abraham clearly lived out their marital vows committed to one another, through thick and thin, better and worse. Certainly a model of marriage that seems outmoded by the rise in divorce figures and the number of "committed' relationships men and women run through in one lifetime.

In David Quammen's book The Flight of the Iguana, there is an essay entitled The Miracle of the Geese where he proposes that geese are the image of "humanity's own highest self" for they "embody liberty, grace and devotion" in they way they live. "Geese mate monogamously and for life" for both male and female rely on each other for survival.

They are committed by "physiology and anatomy, to a life of mutual reliance in permanent twosomes" dictated, in part, by the incredible distances they have to travel on their annual migration and a life that is hard by any measure.

Given the many choices that allure us in today's world, couples have lost this sense of hardball commitment that is the glue to marriage as it was created to be, for a lifetime of tears and laughter, bearing witness to the foibles and victories of everyday banality.

Instead we now live in a world of disposable utensils, appliances and, sadly, relationships.

If only we took a leaf out of nature, and like the geese, re-discover what it is to be in a monogamous relationship, making the requisite sacrifices to create a relationship of love that will bear fruit.

If only we loved as Abraham and Sarah did, traversing time and distance in the bid to be faithful to their ideals and find "pleasure" in their latter years.

Humans were created for a purpose. When we live true to nature, true to the purpose that we were created for, then we will discover the meaning of life that is "ecclesiastical" and be able to restore "eternity to life".

Because we can

While the new U.S. president has adopted the rousing "Yes we can" to counter the economic gloom brought on by the financial tsunami that has engulfed the world, what seems to be more representative of the times is the self-indulgent "Because we can".

"Because we can live on credit, it's okay to buy, eat and drink as much as we want. So what if we live beyond our means?"

"Because we can get away with it, let's dip into someone else's pocket and 'borrow' some funds. They're rich, they won't know or feel it."

"Because that hot colleague wants me, we can indulge our sexual desires. Hey, it's only sex, we're not hurting anyone or cheating."

"Because we love each other, we can totally disregard our spouses and families, and focus on attaining our own happiness. Anything that feels this good must be right."

"Because we can fool everyone, let's lie, bribe, cheat, steal, commit murder, break every rule in the book to get what we want. As long as we don't get caught, it's cool."

"Because we can, let's waste precious resources and continue despoiling the earth, taking everything we can for our own comfort. Who cares about future generations, all that matter is I, me and myself in the here and now!"

The signs of relativism, consumerism and materialism are symptomatic of a society devoid of morals, integrity and a lack of a fundamental sense of right and wrong.

Worse, we don't realize when we are wrong or have behaved inappropriately for "everyone is doing it so it's fine" seems to be the perfect 'out' clause.

If the world were a happier place, that may be cause for justification, but there seems to be more lonely, unhappy people; more addictions and substance abuse; more infidelity and broken marriages/families; more hurt and rage and killings... more darkness in the world due to selfish motives of ego-centric beings driven by money, success, power, fame and misplaced ideals.

What can be done to regain that inner compass that directs us to recognize and choose not only good over bad but best over better?

It begins with the realization that everything we have was first given to us out of love from the Creator.

It begins with wisdom to understand who we are, where we come from, what we can accomplish, when we should just be and why love - selfless, mature and sacrificial love - is the only thing that matters.

It begins with gratitude for all things in life right down to the next breath we draw.

It begins with the humility to appreciate the happy incidence of grace.

St. Ignatius of Loyola wrote a prayer commonly known as suscipe, which is Latin for 'receive' that can help us make the best choice:

"Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will. All I have and call my own, You have given to me; to you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me."

Because we can choose good over evil... make a positive impact... realize our potential to the fullest... make the world a better place... be a catalyst to progressive change... be honest, upright, loving, caring, sharing... and a half-decent human being.

Yes we can!