Totally yours

©"L'Osservatore Romano"
photos from the book
John Paul II:
A Light for the World.


I just watched the documentary on John Paul II's life, "Witness to Hope", and found it very inspiring. What an amazing man!

Here was someone who was willing to push the boundaries in sharing with the world the love of Christ.

Here was a religious who sought to understand the world and brought his message of hope to the masses, and in so doing, was instrumental in uniting the people of Poland to bring to an end the rule of communism, followed later by the destruction of the Berlin wall.

A man of many talents (actor, poet, playwright, philosopher, academician, linguist) JPII could've chosen any road to venture forth and been a success at whatever he put his mind to, but he decided to answer the calling from above.

Just as Mary conveyed her assent to the angel Gabriel and then proceeded to live a life of quiet and titanium-clad faithfulness to God despite the immediately apparent difficulties and definite future heartbreak, JPII was a man who knew the cost of saying yes but went ahead to passionately live out his ideals and beliefs.

His ability to accomplish so much within his lifetime is by virtue of grace, but also through his full cooperation with the Holy Spirit.

He lived by his motto "Totus Tuus", "Totally Yours", which echoed Mary's fiat - not a surprising choice for he had a special affinity with the mother of Christ throughout his life, a relationship that influenced his actions greatly.

While I like to believe that I say yes to being faithful to Christ and his unique way of loving and being every day, it's a struggle to be mindful of my own actions every conscious moment.

Falling or failing is not that uncommon an occurrence, sadly.

According to those close to him, John Paul II found his anchor in daily mass and contemplative prayer despite his exhausting schedule as pope.

As the end of the year looms and I begin to ponder on how I've spent my time, I know I can always do better, especially in the area of prayer.

So as I seek to be a better disciple of Christ, I also thank God for giving me faithful witnesses like John Paul II to encourage me and challenge me to choose wisely and to choose God every time.

Lord, grant me the grace to be yours totally.

Through His eyes

This week I was pleasantly surprised when the optometrist told me that my current pair of contact lenses was over-corrected and that my new contacts, with reduced power, would give me "perfect" vision. I would be able to see both far and near clearly. No reading glasses needed. Pretty cool, huh.

One of the few things that really irked me about the ageing process was "old flower eyes". I can deal with the wrinkles, the weight gain, the daily muscular aches and all the other signs of ageing, but what an incredible pain not to be able to read clearly.

Reflecting on my new, improved vision, I found in it a metaphor for my spiritual life. Is it not true that as we mature in our Christian walk, we should be able to see better as we begin to acquire, bit by bit, the vision of love that is uniquely Christ's?

While I can never, as St. Paul puts it, "see but a poor reflection as in a mirror" until I "see face to face" due to my own distortions and weaknesses here on earth, I can, through my constant desire to see "the face of God", reduce my human-adjusted vision.

I still remember what it used to be like in my late 20s and early 30s, when I was groping in the dark for answers to my life, ill at ease with myself and greatly dissatisfied with certain areas in my life.

It was only when the vision enabled by faith was given to me that I began to view my world in a different light.

I then prayed to be able to see His face and hear His voice for I had been blind and deaf to who God was for many years and therefore not adept at discerning His presence in my life.

Suddenly, things became crystal clear as I began to see with the eyes of my heart, within which dwelled the essence of who I was and God's Spirit which was gifted to me when I was 11 days old.

It's hard to keep clear-sighted at all times for there will be twists and blind corners in the road ahead. Or days where a fog of darkness will descend to linger indefinitely.

As long as I remember to hold fast to the moments of truth (when I see with absolute clarity) that come my way, and steer my course accordingly, I do not fear getting lost or losing myself in the deserts of life.

And so I start each day with a personal petition to be able to see His face and hear His voice always, and thereby also acquire the art of seeing the world through His eyes.

For today, I am most grateful for my improved eyesight that affords the ability to not only read fine print, but to gaze inward and see Jesus looking back at me with love in His eyes.

Gift of death

"Death is the greatest gift God has given us," declared Fr. Arro today at mass celebrating All Souls' Day. Seeing as he was speaking to a church full of living souls who already know what it is to experience the great gift of life, he was right.

Death is the only way we can experience new life. It is the doorway to a richer and fuller life, one that is in complete communion with God. No longer would we be looking at life "through the glass darkly", seeing only partially, and experiencing the fullness of life and love in elusive glimmers that escape us as soon as they appear.

In TOB, JP2 calls this perfect union of man's soul with God's original nakedness.

When God created man and woman, there was a perfect union between man and God, woman and God, and man and woman. Man and woman were naked but felt no shame.*

They were literally and figuratively naked - completely vulnerable to the other and yet completely open and trusting.

There were no miscommunication or hidden agendas for each accepted and loved the other unconditionally, as a precious gift.

There was no baggage or brokenness to blight the relationship as both man and woman were in union with the Creator and in harmony with each other.

As we all know, it was disobedience that caused the Fall and fractured that communion with God and thereby affecting all our earthly relationships with each other.

However, because Jesus came to save us, giving up his life for us, we were redeemed and brought back to the beginning, where relationships were forged of unconditional love.

This is big for it means we can potentially regain the perfect union with God and perfect relationships with each other.

The only problem is humans have this tendency to forget what perfection is and are driven by this yearning for more in life, rarely satisfied for more than a brief moment in time.

And so we have to be content with ephemeral and fragile perfect moments of communion and look forward to the long final sleep of death that will awaken us to new life.

In the meantime, I can only fight against my forgetfulness by cultivating a heart of gratitude, giving thanks to the Creator for every breath I take, and to make the effort to journal and record all singular moments of perfection as they present themselves in my life's journey.

* Genesis 2:25